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“Do you? Do you understand, Jase? Have you been tied up and beaten? Starved. Degraded? Broken!”
“Yeah. For two years.”
My anger and embarrassment melted as he reached for the button of his shirt. He only unfastened four. It was enough to show his tattooed chest. Even the ink couldn’t cover the scars slashing over his skin.
“Afghanistan. It’s a long story. There’s a lot we don’t know about each other, but you’re not alone. Please, come eat.”
Even though my appetite was gone, I let Jase slide his hand across my back and lead me back to the table. His admission had sparked more questions. Ones I knew I couldn’t quite ask. If he’d been held captive and tortured like me, I could see his need for justice. Two years. Two fucking years. How was he even able to function?
My gaze rose to the screens. Then to the door. All the security; I could see it now. I could see his deep-rooted need for safety.
“Are you analyzing me?”
“Just appreciating your work. We’re both safe here.”
Picking up my fork, I went through the motions of eating. I tasted nothing. I felt everything. My eyes wouldn’t stop going back to Jase’s. We had a bond. One we didn’t have to talk about, but that was there. We were survivors. We also shared something deeper. Some kinky connection that was hotter than I’d let myself think about. I wasn’t sure how to take that.
“Do you like...” My eyes rolled as I felt myself try to shut down.
“Bondage?”
“Yeah.”
He got that look again. Amusement. Heat. It was barely detectable, but it was there.
“Not so much as the participant.”
“You like it though? On other people?”
“I do. I know I won’t hurt them. Not like they did us.”
“I can see that. You’re in control.”
“That’s right.” Jase took another bite, and his shoulders relaxed more as he leaned in my direction. “Has anyone ever done that to you before?”
“Tied me up?” I laughed as I thought back to the handful of lovers I’d had in my twenty-nine years. “No. Not even close.”
“Would you have been open to it had they tried?”
“Well.” I searched for the girl I’d been before David had completely rewired me. That Kody was shy, quiet. “Sex was far from experimental. Two actual relationships, and two one-night stands in college. It wasn’t anything to brag about. John lasted all of four months before we broke it off. But then there was George. We’d dated for over four years. Sex was boring. It wasn’t anything more than the usual positions.”
I blinked through rushing thoughts. Is that why he’d moved on with Katherine? Was she better in bed? Wild? Seducing?
“That’s not good.”
The defensiveness had me letting out a deep breath. “No, I guess not. I never even thought about it, truthfully. Maybe that’s the problem. I guess I’m the boring one.”
“I doubt that. But you were thinking something. What upset you?”
“Exactly what I said: I’m boring.”
“Which is why you think he left you?”
My face grew tight. “Are you a mind reader too, or did you find that information on your screens? I’m boring. I have no doubts that’s why he left.”
Jase waved his hand to dismiss my words, finishing off his plate. “You done?”
“Yeah.”
