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“But people will think—”
“I don’t care what they think. This sort of thing goes with the territory. It’s what I was trying to warn you about. If I take the bait, it’ll only get worse. Trust me, I’ve been there. I’ve raised hell. We have to let it go.”
I held on tighter to my arms, where the cast used to be, staring at the curtains. Curtains. Fucking curtains! I couldn’t even stare at the sky anymore. I was locked in a space, high in the air, and I couldn’t see anything around me the majority of the time. I wanted to scream. To lash out and attack anything or anyone. I was losing my mind.
“Hey, look at me.” The soft tone had my eyes sweeping over. “I think it’s time to call your doctor.”
Instinct had my hand coming up to my chest. It was mostly healed, but I still had a ways to go before it was back to normal.
“We already did a few days ago.”
“You know I’m not talking about that doctor. Your heart doctor. You’re not okay, love. He mentioned after this you might experience depression. It’s normal when the heart’s been affected. He said if you started to go downhill to call. I think it’d be a good idea. You haven’t smiled in days.”
My eyes filled with tears. No matter how much I tried to stop them from spilling over, I couldn’t. “If I’m depressed it’s because of that,” I pointed. “I want to see. I want to go sit in the sun. I hate this.”
“I know you do.” Jase lowered to sit on the sofa, wrapping his arm around me. I put my head on his chest, looking up as I gripped to his shirt.
“How much longer do you think this will take? Have you heard anything? Seen anything? You don’t even come to bed anymore. You’re out here all night. Do you even sleep?”
More tears fell as his mouth opened and then shut.
“I put you to bed every night. I lay with you until you fall asleep.”
“But then you leave. I feel you leave. It’s not the same.”
Jase frowned, leaning down to press his lips to mine. Once he started, I felt myself grip to him tighter. Hunger, something I had been dead to since the poisoning came roaring back. I turned on my side, maneuvering so that I could throw my leg over his lap to straddle him. Jase’s arms locked around me, holding me tight as I moved against him.
“Wait, wait.” He broke from my mouth, breathing heavily. “It’s too soon.”
“Soon? No it’s not.”
“It can’t be good for you to get all…worked up.”
“Says who? It’s been eighteen days.”
“Exactly. Eighteen days since you died. Twice.”
“Thanks for reminding me.” I pushed from his lap, spinning to head to my room. I didn’t make it but a few steps before his arms were once again trapping me to his body. This time, he had my back, immediately biting against my neck hard enough to make me yelp.
“You’re calling the doctor.”
“I’m going to my own bed.”
“Like hell you are. You don’t sleep there anymore. We’re calling the doctor, and then you’re going to let me make you some damn tea and pie.”
I jerked in his arms. “All I do is eat and sleep. I’m sick of it. I want something different. Something new. I want to see the sky. I want—” I thrashed against him again. “Give me the phone.”
“That’s my girl.” He kissed my cheek, smiling, and pulling it from his pocket to hand to me. “I’ll get your tea going and make your pie. You want it warm, again?”
“Yes. Ice cream on the top, please.”
He was happy. I was not. But…I might be.
I pulled up the recent calls, hitting my doctor’s cell and putting on the speaker. I was surprised when he answered after the second ring. He’d taken hours to call me back before.
“Dr. Wade speaking.”
“Hello doctor, it’s Kody Marshall. I was hoping to talk to you about a few things.”
