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“I want you to know I’m trying. Every day I’m doing the best I can to win him over. I’m scouring my brain to pull out every trick I’ve been taught. I’m making new connections. I have this…idea. That’s all it is right now, but if I can pull off what I’m hoping.” His brow furrowed. “It’ll take time. That’s the part that drives me the craziest. I need this all to happen now, because I need you, but it doesn’t work like that. I need you to know though, I’m trying like hell.”
“I know you are.”
“If…” He stopped. “You’ve had no say in any of this. You didn’t ask to be dragged into this family or our rules. I’m so sorry for that too.”
“I’m not. I could have tried to run off at any time. I could have fought or raised hell. Sometimes I do. But I thought about leaving. Then I talked to Charles and Thomas, and I asked myself, what brought my father back so many times a week? What was it about Charles that he loved? If he didn’t love your grandfather or you, he wouldn’t have been here. Especially so much. So, I let my bitterness go, and I gave Charles a chance. I talked to him. Learned who he really was. Not as Master Carmelo. Not even as Master Charles. Yes, there is a difference in the two. I befriended Charles. I let him open up to me. I got to know who he really is. What he cares about. What this family means to him. He’s a brilliant man. Hard, yes. Cruel, sometimes. Sweet, more often than not. He takes care of those he loves. What you see, is not everything there is. He loves you, Aimon. A lot. And he wants what’s best for you, even if he doesn’t agree with it. Had he not wanted you to succeed in everything you do, he would have made sure you didn’t. Think about it. He has more power than most. Especially concerning people and money. You’ve done nothing but succeed since you’ve left.
Aimon brought my hands to his lips, kissing them before pulling me into his arms. He didn’t speak. All he did was hold me and bury his finger in my hair so that he kept me right against his heart.
“You wanted a nap. Why don’t you let me help you into bed before I leave?”
Chapter 20
Aimon
Like so many mornings when we’d first met, I watched Fay sleep. She hadn’t been opposed to me lying with her until I knew she was out. And as much as I wanted to make sure she was healthy and safe, there was so much more in watching her breathe.
Her oxygen was Lucia’s. Her heart beating kept Lucia alive. Her rest helped my daughter grow. The world, love, two things I thought I knew, were teaching me that I knew nothing at all. Cars or material possessions didn’t stir a fire deep in my chest. They didn’t make me feel as though I’d suffocate in agony if anything happened to them. I sure as hell wouldn’t die for them. I hadn’t even met Lucia yet, and I already knew who I’d choose if it came to her life or mine.
And Fay. God, Fay. What had I known about giving my heart to someone? Even now, I still didn’t think I had it right. I could do and be more to show her that I’d give her the world. I’d try. I…could have so easily, had this not happened. But it did.
It was laughable when I looked back to the selfish, materialist, bastard I’d been. I thought I knew everything. Despite the hole in my chest, I thought I’d felt it all. Love was teaching me the difference, and it was the hardest lesson of my life.
“You’re still here? What time is it?”
My hand lifted from her stomach so that I could check my watch. “It’s a little after two.”
“You didn’t have to go back to work?”
I laughed. “Perks of being the owner. I sort of make the rules now.”
“That’s right.” She smiled, closing her eyes and turning to face me. “I’m so proud of you, Aimon. You must be excited.”
Proud. She was the only one to ever say that to me. It had my brain sputtering over the phrase to try to make sense of it.
“Thank you. Not as excited as I am to be getting closer to my grandfather’s approval.”
Her lids cracked open, and her smile faded as she raised herself up on her forearm.
“Aimon, about that.”
Time all but stopped. “You don’t want to marry me?”
“I…It’s not that I don’t. It’s complicated.”
“I see.” Breathe. I tried to breathe through the gutting sensation. “Can I ask what’s complicating your decision? Is it because we don’t really know each other? I would have come over more had I thought my grandfather would let me. I was an idiot not to push harder. I’m sorry.”
Fay shook her head. “It’s not that.”
“You don’t have feelings for me like that?”
“I do.”
“Is it because I’m not a true Carmelo anymore?”
“Don’t. You know it’s not about that. I…” She grew quiet, biting her bottom lip. “I want a husband. A real one. One like this. One at my side every day. Aimon, I can’t pretend that I don’t need that.”
“Oh. I understand. You’re right. You deserve a real marriage. All I can offer is.” I stopped, mentally going over my part-time bullshit offer I’d proposed before. Had the world stopped spinning? Was I even breathing anymore? My pulse was racing. It was all I felt, but I couldn’t associate the pain inside my heart. Maybe I was in some heartbroken shock. “I should go.”
