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The doctor nodded, continuing. “That amongst other things. We ran your slave number when you were admitted. It’s protocol. Your number requires we check every time you’re here.”
“That makes sense.”
“What’s HCG?”
I didn’t answer my Master, turning back to the doctor. “Go ahead and give me whatever you want. I’m dead anyway.”
The doctor’s hand didn’t even slow as he continued to look down.
“If your Master wants. It’s his call.”
“I asked you both a fucking question. What’s HCG?”
I glared as I met his stare. “It’s the pregnancy hormone. They’re checking to see if I have it.”
“Have it? It’s too early for that.”
“Actually, it’s not.”
My Master’s brows lifted to the doctor as he came closer to the bed.
“What the hell do you mean?”
“She’s on cycle day twenty-five. It says so in her records. Does that sound right?”
I nodded, not even noticing that I’d started to chew on my bottom lip.
“Here, we can tell as early as six days after ovulation. Depending on when that was, there’s a possibility it can be detected.” He paused, looking between us. “Unless you’d rather not know.”
Fear. Alarm. I’d never seen such depth of emotion on my Master’s face. It looked like sweat was already starting to dampen his slightly tanned skin, and he was pulling at the black shirt he wore, as if the V-neck was going to choke him.
“I want to know.” I sat up straighter, meeting my Master’s stare dead-on. “I want to know. Ideserveto know.”
“You deserve whatever I give you. I’ll know. You will not.”
“I have the right.”
“This is the Gardens. You have no rights here, slave. All you have is what you’re given. Not by this doctor. Not by the neighbors or the people who deliver our food. Me.I own you. Don’t forget that.”
“As if you’d let me.”
My head fell back to the bed, and I refused to look at either of them. The tears came, and I let them. My attitude built up, and I pushed it away. What good was it anyway. It’s not like it was getting me what I wanted…if I even knew what that was. Nothing I did worked in my favor. Maybe I shouldn’t do anything at all. It’s not like my silence or will to live would make things better.
“All done. I’ll be back when we have results.”
I didn’t acknowledge the doctor. Instead, I turned on my side, facing away from the door. Away from my Master. The cries shook me, and I didn’t care to stop them. I should have been dead. I wanted to be. There was nothing left for me. Even if I were pregnant, the child and I were doomed. Best-case scenario, we both lived, but they took it like they did with Patrick. How could I bear that again? How could I live knowing I’d go through an entire pregnancy just to lose another child? And to what? To whom? Could I doom a child into a fate I didn’t know? It was stupid I had tried to come up with a plan at all. There was no running. No surviving. The only lucky slaves here were the dead ones.
“Laura.”
I didn’t answer; I just curled more into a ball as I squeezed my eyes shut. Minutes went by in silence. I sniffled, not able to help the sobs as they grew worse. Even then, my Master let me cry in peace. Time drug out, and I even drifted. I saw colors. Trees. The blue sky. I even thought I heard music for the briefest moment before my body jumped, summoning me awake.
“Right.” My Master’s voice was barely a hum. I turned enough to glance over my shoulder, only able to see part of his body as he stood on the other side of the cracked door. “What about the other?” A pause. “And that’s it?”
My head lifted, and I slowly rose, trying to decipher what he was talking about.
“I don’t know. Of course. I will.” More time.
Nothing.
