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“You still have the stitches. We have to be careful.”
“Oh yeah. We can try the wall thing. You haven’t put me up there yet. It looks…interesting. Is the corset for show, or does it actually do something?”
My head shook. “Not that one. I’m not having you fall while trying to get up there.”
“It’s only a couple of feet. What about the horse looking thing? I’ll lay on and straddle it, and you can cuff me up and use that paddle you had.”
“I don’t want you on your stomach like that.”
“But, why? I’m fine.”
I took in the stocks I’d put her in before. I hadn’t secured her head, only her wrists, but they were injured now. I could trap her feet, but I didn’t want to have her bent over the bench to hold on to the bars below. It was too risky with her weight on her stomach.
Turning, I took in all the equipment. Nothing was good enough. Safe enough. I stopped on some fastening holds on the wall, pointing.
“See those. Put your hands in and hold on to the small bars inside”
“Those? But.” She stopped at my sharp shaking, walking across the room as I grabbed the damn paddle from the cart where I’d thrown it that night.
“I can go back on the cross. You can wrap my wrists extra securely. I think I’ll be okay. Besides, I need to go back on. I have to face this fear I have.”
“The fear of me.”
It wasn’t a question. She stopped at the fastenings, turning to face me.
“I know what you’re capable of.”
“You don’t.”
She paused. “Probably not, but I want to try to understand.”
Reaching forward, I turned her to the fastenings, lifting her arms so she would hold on.
“Right now, focus on this. On our new start. Let me make you feel good.”
FC1315
For eighteen days I thought I was free. Not in the sense of one truly being without outside authority. That was inevitable for where I was. But free from a Master. Free from fear. I thought I was safe. Despite Edward’s complete change in behavior, I knew this part of him wouldn’t last. I lived my days to survive. I did what I had to do to make him believe he was my world. It wasn’t hard,he was all I knew now.And he wasn’t bad all the time. He was just…dangerous. Like a lethal dog behind a broken gate. Wasn’t it just a matter of time before the killer broke through?
Him abandoning me here was too good to be true. A part of me had known that, even if I did hope, but if he was going to be gone a majority of the time anyway, couldn’t I just pretend and hold on? After all, if I could manage some form of birth control, maybe I could prolong what he was truly after. Could I be enough for him? I couldn’t risk a life other than my own. I couldn’t live in a state of ‘if’ and ‘when’. I was barely holding it together as it was. To have another child taken away from me. To live my worst nightmare again…no.
“I’m proud of you. You did good at breakfast.”
I smiled, glancing over as my Master led me down the hall towards the elevator. I was still tired from the hours of paddling and sex. We’d barely gotten any sleep, and I wasn’t looking forward to my doctor’s appointment. It was nothing but a follow up so the doctor could look at my stitches, but I doubted it was even the same one who’d put them there. This wasn’t an emergency, and hadn’t Edward mentioned it was a clinic? That wouldn’t be the hospital we’d been at before.
“I tried to make you happy. It was a little hard to eat. My appetite just isn’t there. I go through this sometimes. I think I’m just adjusting. It’s been stressful since you left.”
“It has, but it’s about to get so much better. I can’t wait to see you try on dresses.” His fingers were laced with mine and he added resistance to slow me as we entered the main lobby area. “You’re going to look so beautiful in a big, white gown. A veil. We’ll have pictures made of us, just like married couples do. Are you excited?”
Heat burned my cheeks as I tried projecting a happy soon-to-be bride.
“More than excited. It’s the dream.”
“And I’m going to make every one of them come true from here on out. Within reason, given the circumstances.”
My smile fell. I didn’t need to be reminded I was trapped here. I got a full view of this place when my Master was gone. There wasn’t a floor I hadn’t been on, or a road in the city I hadn’t explored. The only way out was an elevator and that was heavily guarded. There was no escape.
“As long as we have each other, that’s all that matters.”
