AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I’m definitely seeing the flaws in my leadership. I’m not supposed to have any flaws to begin with, and I was pissed as hell when Pavel told me that the Bratva was considering mutiny. But if I can’t keep a promise of devotion to a woman under my protection, how can they trust my word when I promise them their lives and livelihoods?
I can start with the kid. It’s not a complete overhaul, but it’s a start.
And it’s better than I did by her mother.
Willow nestles into my chest and gazes up at the stars with me. “Do you think Mommy misses me?”
“IknowMommy misses you.”
“How?”
“She’s your mother. You’re her baby. She loves you more than anything in the world.”
She seems to consider this very thoughtfully. Or, she’s fallen asleep. But then she sighs and says, “Mommy misses you, too.”
I’m so glad she can’t see my face right now. “How do you know?”
“Because.” Willow says the word like that’s the only explanation I need.
“Because…?”
“Because she likes you.”
I’m not sure that’s an accurate statement anymore. Somewhere, out there, Clara is probably cursing every inch of ground I walk on. “I don’t know, Wills. I messed up. I messed up alot.”
“Mommy says we need to forgive people when they mess up.”
“She’s right.” It’s not easy in any way, but she’s right. I just wish I could come close to deserving Clara’s forgiveness—and I wish even more I knew how to find her so I could at least have the chance to beg her for it.
It occurs to me, now, when it’s too late to do anything about it, that these words from a little kid ring truer and deeper than I want them to. How much of this mess would have been avoided if I’d just forgiven Clara when she was a kid? Or if Tolya had? We both spent so many years holding a grudge against a terrified little girl who just wanted to survive. Forgiveness never once crossed our minds.
Willow absentmindedly plays with the family crest ring on my finger. “Mommy likes you a lot more than Martin. Like, shelikelikes you. So I think she’ll forgive you.”
I don’t think the Bratva will think highly of me taking on a kindergartener as a new advisor. But shit, this kid is wise. And a little too insightful for someone so young.
“I hope so,” is all I can think to say as a response.
She goes quiet again. Once more, I think she’s finally asleep… until she pops back up with another question. “Can I tell you a secret?”
“Sure.”
Willow sighs. “I wish you were my daddy.”
Something squeezeshardinside my chest.
I’m not made of Father Material. I don’t have a paternal bone in my body. I don’t have a good example of what a decent father should be like. Not once, in my entire life, have I ever felt the desire to become a parent.
Until I met this kid.
“I wish I was, too,” flies out of my mouth before I’ve finished processing the feelings flooding my head and chest.
Willow turns so she can hug me with her tiny arms. “It’s okay, Demmy. I still love you.”
No words. I have no words. I also can’t see very well through the sudden mist in my eyes. I have to blink a few times before I can see the sky again.
“I love you, too, Willow.”
And I mean it.
