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It’s an even bigger feat that, even after everything we just did, I can still carry Clara in my arms to the private bathhouse right behind the guest house.
The natural stone shower has a bench carved into the wall. That’s where I set her down, careful not to bump her head on any of the protruding rocks, so I can turn the shower on and get us cleaned up.
“Can you stand?” I try to bite back the shit-eating grin, but I mean… come on. If her answer is “no,” my ego will officially be too big for this room.
Clara blushes brightly and curls up on the bench. “I might need a few minutes.”
Still grinning, I turn and grab the sea sponge from one of the storage ledges, lather it up, and scrub at my skin.
It’s only when I’m rinsing off under the waterfall showerhead that I notice Clara staring at me, her mouth partly open. I flash her a smile. “What?”
“I’m, um…” She scoffs and shakes her head. “I’m just wondering if I’m still asleep. Because this is a pretty awesome dream I’m having if I am.”
“Oh, you’re definitely awake.”
Instead of that making her even happier, it suddenly makes her frown. Just a little, but enough for me to notice.
“What? What’s wrong?”
Clara sighs and leans back against the stone wall. “This doesn’t change anything.”
I do my best to pretend my heart didn’t just drop into my gallbladder.
“Oh, goddammit, that came out all wrong.” She groans and rubs her face with both hands. “I mean… I’m still going to help you with Tolya. That’s what I mean by not changing.”
My lungs resume function and I let out a laugh that sounds more nervous than I want it to. “For a second there, I thought?—”
“Fuck. Sorry. I just meant that… Even though you said I don’t owe you anything, I’m still going to try to make things right. I messed up and I want to make it right.”
I walk over to her and hold my hands out for her to take. When she does, I guide her to the waterfall and let the warm water cascade over her body. “Clara, listen to me. You were eight. A child. Only an idiot would hold a literal child responsible for the life of a grown man.”
One of her brows creeps up her forehead.
“Yeah, I know,” I continue. “I’m the fucking idiot. I’m owning that one. But so is Tolya, and anyone else who couldn’t clearly see it’s been your father to blame this whole time.”
Clara thinks about this. She presses a hand to my wet chest and traces the droplets clinging to my skin. It’s distracting in the best kind of way. “You mean it?”
“Every word.”
I make sure to follow through with my word by soaping her up and cleaning every inch of her curves with the sea sponge. I’m extra careful between her legs, when she winces and sucks in a sharp breath. “It’s okay, baby,” I coo up at her as I kneel on the shower floor. “I’m just gonna clean you up.”
She smiles and strokes my wet hair back from my forehead. “Wanna hear something crazy?”
“Always.”
“My body’s like, ‘Ugh, no more, I can’t even.’ But the rest of me still wants you to pin me against this wall and fuck my brains out.”
I laugh and press a warm kiss to her stomach. “I’m right there with you.” At her look of surprise, I laugh. “What? You thought I could just keep going and going without my dick falling off?”
“Well… you seem like the kind of guy who would try.”
That’s a fair assessment. She’s notwrong. “Well,” I assure her as I rise to my feet, “you’ll be happy to know you are officially the only woman in the world who can actually drain me dry.”
Clara wraps her arms around my neck and presses her slick body to mine. If I had even an ounce of spirit left below my waist, I’d probably make a play for her ass. As it is, however… “I shall aspire to exceed your expectations regularly,” she purrs.
I kiss her brow, then her eyes, and then her mouth. “You won’t catch me complaining.”
18
