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But while I may be many things, a liar isn’t one of them.
And if I’m going to be honest with myself… that chain link fence is crumbling away pretty damn fast.
At the core of it all, I’m a gambler. So I take a steep gamble and hold her face in my hands, look into her eyes, then press a solid kiss to her sweet lips. It’s supposed to be one-and-done, but like I said before: she makes me insatiable.
It’s not long before we have to pull away, breathless and wanting, my hands firmly gripping her bare ass under her dress.
I can’t think of anything clever to say. The only things that come to mind are words that should never, ever be uttered, especially not by me. Things only idiots who have nothing to lose whisper to women who can’t afford to believe them.
So I do the next best thing and let her get back to work.
At least this time, she doesn’t look like I just crushed her heart under my foot. Instead, Clara blushes again, twists her hair back up into a messy bun, and sprays down the countertop.
She’s back to work.
I need to do the same.
This time, I don’t feel any regrets at all.
60
CLARA
I think I’d have an easier time pinning a tail on a donkey, blindfolded, drunk, with one hand, in a wind tunnel, than I am trying to tie ribbons in Willow’s hair.
She’s a bouncing ball of pure excitement. She has been since 4 A.M., when she thought it was time to get up for her first day of school. Now, she’s hopping from foot to foot, whining that I’m not moving fast enough.
“We’re gonna be late, Mommy!” Willow tugs on the straps of her sparkling unicorn backpack which is, as she verified during this morning’s third, fourth, and fifth repacking sessions, filled with matching unicorn school supplies.
“If you would hold still, this would go much faster.”
She sighs but does her best to contain her energy. The second she feels me finish adjusting the purple bow in her curls, she flies out of her room toward the main entrance.
“Willow!” I call after her, grabbing my purse from my room as quickly as possible so I don’t lose track of where she is. “Honey, we gotta go find Pavel!”
I sigh out my frustration while I’m still alone so it doesn’t taint her first day of kindergarten. Truth be told, I’m an emotional wreck. She’s growing up too fast and, even though I’ve been chanting to myself that this is just another day, she’s just starting kindergarten, she’s still my sweet little baby girl…
Breathe. Pull yourself together. You still have twelve whole years before college.
The garage is in the opposite direction of the main house, but Willow didn’t wait for me to tell her where we actually needed to go. So now, I’m rushing through the back archway into the main entrance and?—
Demyen’s standing there, holding Willow in one arm and her backpack on the other. He smiles at me and leans in to loudly whisper to her, “See? Mommies are always late. Tsk tsk.”
Willow giggles and shakes a playful finger at me. “Don’t be late, Mommy!”
I missed something. Somewhere, somehow, I overlooked a memo.
“Ready?” He arches a brow and opens the door for me. “If we leave now, we’ll have enough time to grab breakfast on the way.”
“Can we get donuts?” Willow squeals excitedly.
He exaggerates his eyeroll and scoffs. “I don’t know how you’d start the day any other way.”
I let my feet carry my dumbfounded self to the car on autopilot. Demyen helps Willow buckle into her booster seat, carefully avoiding bumping her bows. “We don’t want to mess up your beautiful hair, okay? We want to look our best when we roll up in style.”
As if on cue, Willow whips out a pair of pink glittery sunglasses from her backpack and slides them on. “I’m ready!”
“Yeah, you are.” He chuckles. “Let’s go show them who runs the playground.”
