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“It’s okay,” I whisper into her hair. “You’re safe. I’m not going to hurt you.”
“Because you already have?”
Well… shit.Just when I think she can’t gut-punch me any harder, she does.
I deserve it.
“Because I’ve never regretted something so much in my life,” I finally admit. “And because I’m determined to never make the same mistake again.”
Slowly—painfully slowly—Clara turns around. She doesn’t try to pull away, just shifts inside the towel until she’s gazing up at me with those beautiful eyes framed by her long, dark lashes.
“Why?” The word catches and rasps in her throat.
I know what she’s asking. I’ve asked myself the same question every second of every minute of every day.Why? Why did I let this happen?
I tuck a curl behind her ear and let my fingertips trail along the side of her soft cheek. To think I almost lost her… to a sickpsychopath, no less… because of my quick temper and blind sense of “justice”...
“I didn’t—” I stop, rethinking my approach. “I should have never brought you there. I knew how dangerous it was. I should have kept you here where you’d be safe.”
Her beautiful brow furrows. “But you?—”
“I made a swift decision, months ago, that I never should have even considered in the first place.” I sigh again and sit on the edge of the bed. “I need you to know…”
On the one hand, I want to look her in the eyes when I tell her this.
On the other hand, it’s far easier to confess my mistakes when I don’t have to see the betrayal etched all over her beautiful face.
I clear my throat and tell myself that no matter what happens between us, sheneedsto know. “I never actually sold you. At all.”
Clara stiffens.
“The second we walked into that cocktail party, I knew it was all a huge mistake. I knew there was no way I’d ever let anyone take you from me.” I sigh and press my brow to her shoulder. “But I couldn’t get us out fast enough. Not without raising suspicions with the Yakuza.”
She sighs. “Raizo.”
“I came back for you.” I did. I can still feel the sickness just remembering that night. “I came looking for you and couldn’t find you. I thought… Well, it doesn’t matter what I thought. But when I still couldn’t find you, I confronted Raizo. By then, you’d already been sold.”
I feel her body shake in my embrace. Fresh tears roll down her face. I want to kiss them away, but that might scare her. Too much, too soon.
“We don’t have to talk about it anymore right now,” I reassure her. “But we do need to talk about it eventually. No more secrets. No more lies.”
Clara sniffles, then nods. “Yeah,” she agrees. Her voice sounds clearer now. “Just… not tonight?”
I smile softly. “Not tonight.”
Finally, she leans into me. Finally, I feel what tiny amounts of trust she’s willing to give and I swear to myself I’m not going to take them for granted. I cradle her head to my chest and kiss her hair.
Even if this is all I ever get with her moving forward, it will still be enough.
“I’m going to take care of you,” I murmur. “I want to take care of you. Anything you want, anything you need, just tell me.”
Again, Clara stills. “Anything?”
I pretend like my stomach doesn’t immediately bunch into knots at the sound of her hesitation in that one word. “Anything,” I reply. “What do you want?”
She suddenly bursts into laughter. “Short of a time machine? I want alotof things. But mainly, I want to not feel disgusting every time I move.” Her head turns to the side so she can look at me. “I want… Ineed… to just…” She rubs her arm vigorously until her skin turns a bright pink and I have to grab her wrist to stop her. “I need to get him off me. I don’t want to feel like he’sstill touching me, I don’t want to smell him, I don’t want to see those horrible marks…”
Before I can even blink, Clara whips around and straddles my lap. The towel immediately drops to the floor. She looks me in the eyes for only a second…
