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Chapter one
Alice
“Just this once? Yourdad will understand. You don’t leave your best friend alone on Christmas. It’s cruel.”
“You already used that one at Thanksgiving, Alice. And I don’t think my dad will forgive me for missing two holidays in a row,” Kayleigh says, opening her arms to hug me goodbye.
I dodge it and try again. “It’s supposed to snow. Like,reallysnow. They’re talking about getting enough to have to close the roads up the mountain.” We might even see a dusting of it in the city. That’s like a once-in-a-lifetime thing in Vegas and I don’t want to miss it.
“Why don’t you come with me?” Kayleigh asks.
I can’t think of anything more depressing than spending Christmas with someone else’s family. A grim reminder of all the holidays I never had with my own family.
“Or you could try visiting your dad,” Kayleigh adds, grimacing. Dimples sink into her chubby cheeks.
I know she’s just trying to help, but she also knows I haven’t stepped foot in my dad’s casino since I graduated high school in the spring.
And has he reached out to me since? No. So why the fuck should I give a shit about seeing him now? He hasn’t spent a holiday with me since before my mother died when I was four. There’s not a chance in hell he’s going to start spending them with me now.
No kidding. The Christmas spirit could materialize in some grand corporeal form at the foot of my father’s bed, in classic Dicken’s fashion, to teach him the meaning of Christmas and family. He’d just throw some money at it, roll over, and go back to sleep.
“I’ll just hang out here,” I tell her, keeping my tone as even as possible, sadness building in my throat. “Stock up on junk food and watch Die Hard on repeat.” Okay. So maybe I can think of something more depressing. Still, I’d rather stay here and spend another Christmas alone, than exhaust myself, putting on a happy face for a bunch of strangers for the next week.
“Are you sure?” Kayleigh asks, tilting her head gently as pity fills her brown eyes. “It’s still early. You can pack and we can get out of here before the snow starts.”
“Nah. I’m gonna stay. Thanks though.”
I let Kayleigh pull me in for a hug this time.
We wave goodbye wishing each other a merry Christmas as she rolls her suitcase behind her down the hallway to the elevator.
Yeah… This weekend is going to be anything but merry.
Turning in place just inside our apartment door, I try not to let the lingering silence or lack of festive decor darken my mood any more than it already has. I try to tell myself that the years of spending holidays alone has hardenedmyheart as thoroughlyas it has my father’s. That way, I don’t spend the entire weekend crying into my pillow.
But, after an hour or so of flipping through my movie queue, then staring at Nakatomi Plaza, paused on the screen for another half an hour, after I take a bathroom break and can’t bring myself to push play again, the loneliness overwhelms me. I do what I swore I wouldn’t.
The phone rings forever before a sweet, feminine voice answers, “Thank you for calling The Silver Moon Casino. How may I help you?”
I hang up.
My dad’s not there. He always redirects his calls to reception when he leaves town.
That’s how little he cares to see me. Even if it had occurred to him that I’d come home for the holiday, he didn’t even bother to send a message to let me know he wouldn’t be there.
Maybe I should have gone with Kayleigh. Being completely alone is harder than I though. At least when I still lived at the casino, there were crowds of people in the restaurant and lobby to make me feel like I wasn’t alone.
Maybe if I could concentrate. Find something to keep my mind busy. As it is, the silence is going to eat me alive. It doesn’t help that Die Hard isn’t the first thing I haven’t been able to focus on lately. My brain hasn’t been operating at full capacity for a couple of weeks now. Being alone only seems to make it worse.
I gotta get out of here.
In my room, I stand at my closet, flipping through my wardrobe for something to wear. At the back of the closet is a dress I’d totally forgotten about. An impulse buy. It was just too gorgeous to pass up even though I knew I’d never have a reason to wear it. But every girl needs a little black dress, right? At least, that’s how I justified it.
Not that I don’t have the money to buy a million dresses I’ll never wear. The amount of time my dad doesn’t spend with me is only matched by the amount of money he deposits in my bank account. The perks of being the heir to The Silver Moon Casino’s empire.
I try not to exploit it. It’s why I share the rent on this little whole-in-the-wall apartment with my best friend. My only friend. The only person who has stuck by my side without wanting something from me.
That’s the story of my life. Everyone leaves.
