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“You’re not driving in this state,” she says firmly.
“Are you fucking—”
“No. Turn around, Roman. Catch a cab.”
A muscle ticks in my jaw. But considering I’m not interested in spending another second with her, I do as she says. My anger remains a restless burn beneath my skin, but it cools with each step I take away from her. I hail a cab and leave. The last thing I see is Elena on the side of the road, hugging her arms around her body, her expression heartbroken as she watches me go.
I stay away for two days. Elena doesn’t try to contact me, giving me space, and I’m slightly grateful for that. My family notices that something’s wrong but they don’t push. I go through my daily motions while fighting a mounting fear and an encroaching feeling of responsibility. By the time the third day comes around, I’m angrier at myself.
My father taught me better than to avoid my responsibilities because of fear of the unknown. Which is why I turn up to Elena’s apartment later that day, unsure of exactly what I plan to say.
When she opens the door, though, the right words tumble out.
“What’s her name?”
CHAPTER19
Elena
Ican sympathize with what Roman’s going through. I understand him, even. He’s being forced to contend with the fact that his life isn’t the same anymore. And despite how much his words hurt, I did suddenly deliver life-altering news. No one should have to deal with what he’s going through right now.
My intensions were pure when I decided to keep it from him but now I’ve blindsided him and I deserve his anger. He spent three days away and I couldn’t even find it in myself to be angry as well. The man had to come to terms with the fact that he’s a father, so I gave him some space.
Watching him right now, though, my heart aches. Because I never meant for things to be this way. I followed my heart, and I can only hope I didn’t cause more pain than necessary in the process.
Roman continues to stare at me intently, so I shake myself out of my thoughts.
“Cassiopeia,” I breathe. “But we call her Cassie.”
One eyebrow flicks up. “You named her after a vain queen in Greek mythology that ends up killed?”
“Emphasis on the queen,” I say defensively. “And I named her after a constellation in the sky.”
Surprisingly, Roman smiles. It’s a small one and it’s more of an exhausted smile than anything, but the sight of it fills me with relief.
“Like your mother?” he asks. I’m not surprised he knows.
My middle name is Andromeda; Tony’s is Orion. My mother used to love watching the stars. It’s the reason my dad built that observatory in our home. She also liked Greek mythology, which is why she named us after both.
When I gave birth to Cassie, I felt healed in a way—like the deep hole left behind by my mother was suddenly filled. I’ll probably never know where she is right now, but I loved her. And looking at my own daughter, I made myself a promise to do better than she did. For my little girl. Cassie will never know what it feels like to be abandoned.
“Yeah,” I say softly.
“Can I come in?” he asks tentatively.
“Of course,” I reply, moving from the doorway so he can walk inside.
He takes a look around the apartment. I don’t miss the way his eyes zero in on the bottle on the table. When he came here last, I took care to erase any signs that I had a baby. But now there’s no longer any reason to hide.
“She’s asleep right now,” I inform him. “She sleeps a lot during the day and is up for most of the night.”
He nods once, his expression unsettled. It’s pretty clear I’m not the only one nervous.
“Should I—should I go and get her?”
“Just… just wait,” he replies, taking a seat on the couch.
I take a seat as well, leaving distance between us.
