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Prologue
Antonio
"Please, you don't have to do this," I beg, tears stinging my eyes. I never considered myself a begger or imagined dropping in front of someone in desperation. I didn't think this would happen either. Dread rears its ugly head inside of me, twisting and turning the longer I watch everything I love slip away.
"No. This is what happens when you go against all that we stand for." My father's wicked smile is mocking as he squeezes the rope tighter around Lucian's neck. His face turns from a blushing pink to a light purple and his blue eyes are bulging out of his head. The ground is a sinking hole and I grasp onto whatever I can around me to stay on top.
"Don't. Stop. You're killing him." My voice is in tatters along with the rest of me. This isn't real. It can't be. My father is a lot of things but a murderer isn't one of them. Is it? He's kept so many secrets from us over the years. My mom died in a car accident long ago; I don’t think she’d recognize the man she’d marriednow. Some say he died with her that day. Maybe her being alive is what kept the monster inside at bay and once she was gone, he couldn't hold it back anymore. I have to stop him.
"Good. Someone has to clean up the mess you made, and I sure as hell know it won't be you." He lifts his hand higher, Lucian’s knees barely touching the floor as his nails claw at the thick rope cutting off his air supply.
We got married in secret yesterday, assuming no one knew and we could continue sneaking around behind closed doors until we were able to save enough money to run away together. We were wrong. So fucking wrong. My father doesn’t want a gay son. To him it isn’t right or natural. His Bible thumping parents put so many wrong ideas in his head while he was younger that he can't see past them as an adult.
Not only did I fall for someone of the wrong gender, but Lucian is also the son of the man who my father claims ruined his career and good name. Hector is his old partner on the police force and rumors around town say he’s the one who found drugs in my father's desk. Drugs he was secretly selling for a local dealer to pay off funeral expenses and the debt my mom left behind. My father's work paycheck was no longer enough, so he turned to the wrong people for money while slipping further away from the parent my brother, Leo, and I once had.
Leo eventually went to live with our grandparents, but they didn't want me. I’m too much of a reminder of what they lost. I favor my mom, with my dark hair and light eyes. Is it why my father can’t stand to look at me most days? Does it hurt him every time he does? Maybe that's the real reason he's trying so hard to destroy me.
I wanted to leave weeks ago but Lucian said no because he was worried about what might happen to his siblings. His dad can't be trusted alone with them, but Lucian won't be able to take his beatings forever, and it’s getting harder for him tohide from his dad. He tracks his phone and his car, and he has cameras everywhere. It grows worse every day and makes me feel so fucking helpless. No one believed his mom and they don’t believe him either. His dad is a well-respected cop and untouchable. The town’s fucking hero.
Our plan, before my father caught us, was to flee town with his brothers, but we’d needed a more solid plan first. Starting over with barely two pennies to rub together and nothing but the clothes on our backs wasn't an option if we were going to have two children to care for. It wouldn't have helped us disappear for long and might have landed us in worse situations. I should have tried harder, though, to get us away sooner. Should have found a better solution. Taken on more jobs for extra cash. Stolen the money. Sold drugs for my cousin. Instead, I’d kept my promise to my mom not to end up a criminal like so many around me.
"I promise I won't see him again after today. I'll forget we ever met. Please, don't do this, Papa."
He releases his hold, and Lucian drops to the floor, gasping for air. As I crawl to reach for him, a heavy hand strikes my cheek. An excruciating pain travels deep into my bones, temporarily causing me to black out.
"You dare lie to your own father after betraying your family by marrying this filth. It's only been seconds and you already can't stay away."
Shaking my head, I gather the strength to lift myself up enough to meet his eyes again. "I didn't… I meant what I said. I only wanted to make sure he was okay," I stammer, my chest aching as I watch my husband struggle to breathe. His eyes are bloodshot and he's curled up on the floor in a fetal position with dried tears staining his cheeks. Why did I think I was capable of keeping him safe?
"You can check on him from where you are." My father's eyes are wild and he looks barely human. "Move again and I’ll cut his fucking head off."
Gripping the floor, I stay where I am, but I need to hold Lucian. Kiss his cheek and whisper in his ear how much I love him. What if this is my last chance?
Lucian coughs, grabbing at his neck, and he holds my stare. I study him closely as he mouths the words, "It's going to be okay."
If that were true then why does the devastation in his eyes betray his words? Why does something deep down inside me scream not to listen? He's wrong. It's not okay now, and my impending fear says it never will be again.
"You've had long enough time to recover," my father says, reminding me of his unwelcome presence in the room. "You have five minutes to get up and leave this house." He earns a torturous moan from Lucian when his foot sharply kicks him in the stomach. "I said get the fuck out. I won't ask again. Once you're out that door, don't ever look back or I'll make sure you both get buried in the backyard. Alive."
With frantic eyes, Lucian nods and scrambles to his feet.
"Four minutes left." My father taps his watch. His eyes linger on me as if he's waiting for a different reaction than I'm already giving. Lucian scurries to the door, his shoes slamming against the wood with each rushed step he takes. My father's lips curl and something sinister flashes in his eyes as his hand falls to his gun. My gaze drifts from my father to Lucian and a lump forms in my throat, stopping my words from coming out.
Panic rises inside as I shake my head, unable to say what I'm already screaming at the back of my mind. My tongue is so heavy and my mouth is dry. No. No. No. I throw myself forward as my father aims the pistol at Lucian’s back. Lucian grabs at the knob and he pulls open the front door, taking too long to step outside.I can hear the seconds ticking away on the old wall clock. "Run, Lucian. Hurry," I finally manage to yell, my voice cracking.
Before Lucian can take his second step outside, my father pulls the trigger and my screams catch in my throat as the bullet rips through the back of Lucian's head. Skin tears. Blood is everywhere and Lucian goes still.Bang.Bang. Two more shots are fired, striking him in the neck and back. I see red everywhere, blood pouring from all the holes my dad put in his body, soaking his clothes and dirty blond hair. He crashes to the floor and my pulse pounding in my ears isn't loud enough to drown out the whimpers spilling from my lips. “He had two minutes left,” I say to no one in particular, feeling as if glass is cutting me from the inside.
My knees and hands drag over the outdated carpet as I crawl toward the motionless body lying in the open doorway. My father's boot slams down on my hand and the pain is nothing in comparison to the ache in my chest. "What have you done?" I choke back tears, shoving his leg hard enough away to pull my hand free.
"Lucian." I collapse on top of his body after taking in his lifeless blue eyes. They lack light and no longer search for me. I rub my face on his chest, my tears soaking his clothes, rushing out of me like the water in a dam.
"Get up." My father kicks at me, the tip of his shoe nudging into my side. "We need to get the body inside before someone stops by to see what the noise was."
No one will care to know where it came from. They'll only ensure they're far away from it and it's not heading for them. My father purposely moved us here to blend in more. In our last neighborhood, he and the friends he had constantly dropping by the house stood out like sore thumbs with their suspicious business deals. Especially when the deals didn't go my father's way.
Clutching the sleeves of Lucian’s shirt, I cling to him tighter as my father tries to pull me away.
"Look at you crying and losing your mind over someone so worthless—"
