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“Oh! That’s wonderful,” she said. “I was just hoping he could help me get in touch with the King Mafia.”
My heart sank when she mentioned the Kings. “He doesn’t work for them, if that’s what you want.”
“No, it’s not like that. I’m trying to find my cousin. He’s been gone for a really long time. Here, let me show you a picture.” Karen pulled out some photos, and I admired the two happy cousins in the photos.
“Your cousin seems pretty cool,” I said. “What would he be doing with the King Mafia?”
“That’s what I want to know.” Karen sounded genuinely frustrated. “Dave was never very good with money though, and I think he has a lot of debt with them.”
I sighed. Even though I felt compelled to go and escape the world I was in by sight-seeing, I had to chat with this nice woman. I offered her some tea, which I knew would be safe if I was pregnant. The problem of hiding my pregnancy and just dealing with it was a lingering one that I dreaded facing. Worse, I didn’t know how Jack would react. We sat and the story of her cousin using his money poorly was a sad one that I’d heard too many times. My father, for all of his flaws, had instilled money management skills in me. I almost offered Karen some money to help her out in her situation, but then thought twice of it.
“And what about you?” Karen asked. “You seem like something’s on your mind.”
I didn’t want to tell a complete stranger that I was pregnant, but she was very warm and eventually, I spilled the beans.
“I think I’m pregnant,” I admitted. “I’m scared to tell Jack.”
Surprisingly, Karen said nothing about him, yet still made me feel like everything would be ok. At the time, I thought she was just a really nice woman who happened to be friends with Jack. But what kind of friend didn’t know how he would react to news of my pregnancy?
Did Jack even want a kid?
DidIeven want a kid?
Karen and I eventually ended our conversation, saying our goodbyes as we went our separate ways. For my part, all I did was explore the city until the sights lulled my thoughts. I knew that I would eventually have to return and face my biggest fear: Jack. If I couldn’t even process the idea of being pregnant and all of its ramifications, then how was I to deal with Jack’s reaction? That’s why when I finally got back, and he kept asking me what was wrong with me, I couldn’t bear to tell him.
“I love you,” I’d said.
He told me I could tell him when I was ready, and I knew that everything was going to be ok. After we made love with a passion that welled from my pent-up fear, I fell asleep in his arms.
When I woke up,Jack was cooking breakfast. The smell was strong, and I could feel my stomach churning. I didn’t want to tell him, but there was no way that I could spurn his sweet gesture. I stayed in the bedroom, hoping that the nausea would go away. It only got worse, however, and my anxiety about the situation wasn’t helping.
He said I could tell him when I was ready, but what if I’m never ready?
The thought lingered in my mind, and Jack came in the bedroom. His presence scared me for a second, but I knew he was my lover, so I quickly shook off my illogical fear.Doesn’t he deserve to know you’re pregnant, Emma?
“Breakfast is ready,” he said. “You hungry?”
Mustering up the energy to pretend that I was ok wouldn’t be fair to him, but I did it anyway, knowing full well I felt awful. “I’ll be out in a minute.”
Jack eyed me, concerned, and I knew that he would eventually find out. But then he did something unexpected: he just went back to the dining room to eat. He was either angry or giving me my space. I hoped it was the latter. I got up out of bed, looked towards the dining table, then to the bathroom, and decided I couldn’t hide my nausea.What was I thinking?
After my morning bout of sickness, I made my way to the dining room where Jack was eating completely alone. There was no emotion on his face initially, but he lit up when he saw me.
The warmth in his voice was all I needed to know that things would be fine no matter what. “Is there anything I can do for you?” He didn’t question my sickness, he didn’t make me feel like I was even in the wrong for hiding my pregnancy from him—albeit badly—he only made me feel like he would do anything for me.
I broke down crying. “I’m pregnant,” I managed. “I’m sorry I told Karen before I told you,” I said. As a young girl, my father made me feel like I was an awful person if I hid anything from him. Now that the news was really out, I would have to tell daddy.
Jack brushed my hair, caressing my face. “There’s nothing to be sorry about,” he said. “What do you need from me?”
I didn’t know. All I knew was that my father couldn’t find out.
“Let’s just stay here,” I blurted out. I didn’t know what else to say, and I wanted nothing more than to hide from the world. I wanted to hide from my father, be away from all the mafia business, and I just wanted to live happily ever after.
“Karen’s mafia,” Jack said gently.
My heart sank. Of course she was mafia.Why else would she have been looking for the Kings? “She told me she was looking to get in touch with the King Mafia,” I said. “She said it was because her cousin was in debt with them. I guess her plan would have been to pay it back. She even showed me pictures of her and her cousin hang gliding.”
Jack nodded. “That was a good lie. And since she found us, there’s no hiding from them.” He sensed my disappointment, and placed his warm hand on my shoulder. “I will make things right. But it means I have to go to your father.”
