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CHLOE
"Let me guess… your mom didn't show up. Oh, Chloe, I’m so sorry."
Right now, I'm on the brink of crying. Tears are already glistening and blurring my vision. In a matter of seconds, they’re going to start rolling down my face, dragging my carefully applied makeup with them. Instead of answering Ella's question, I just nod at my phone’s screen, then the tears come rushing down.
I’d pep-talked myself all day that it didn't matter whether she showed up or not. It’s just my college graduation. I was just the valedictorian of the entire graduating class. It was no big deal, right? There was no reason for her to drive an entire hour to be there. But I couldn't help it. My own mom has blatantly refused to be a part of my life. no matter how I try to make her proud, she just doesn't see me.
Still, there’d been a part of me that refused to quit hoping. Worse, her no-show makes me miss my dad so much. It’s more than just wishing he was here. I feel so selfish, but sometimes–like right now–I wish she’d been the one who had died instead of my dad. He’d always supported me and been so proud of me.
My mom? She basically thinks I’m furniture. And she practically dropped me off at Goodwill the day I finished high school.
"Chloe, please. This is a happy day! No tears, girl!" Ella crooned supportively.
"I know, right? So why don't I feel happy? Why do I feel like a failure?" The tidal wave of tears is ruining the top of my graduation gown, but I can’t stop.
"Hey, you arenota failure! You’re the freaking valedictorian, remember? Your mom doesn’t deserve you. I'm proud of you, Chloe." It’s hard to tell on my little phone screen, but I’m pretty sure a tear rolls down Ella's cheek. "Now I feel like an even bigger jerk for having to work today. I'm sorry I'm not with you on your big day."
"It's fine. Besides, I'm glad you finally got to be with your dad. One of us should have that at least."
As we hang up so I can finish my pity party, something hits me. I’ve tried so hard to be a perfect daughter, but I'll never be enough for my mom. I'm done.
I'm done trying to please my mom.
I'm done trying to be seen by her.
I'm done begging for her love.
Today is my day. I worked for this. I paid my way on my own. I'm going to enjoy it. Tonight, I’m going to live for myself. I'm going to do all the things I’ve been too busy to do. Too scared, even? I’ve been so focused, so responsible. I worked my tail off through high school and college just to be able to celebrate.
And I plan to celebrate.
I don’t care who.
I don’t care where.
I'm just going to do it.
Good girls like me don’t even think about partying or one-night stands. But my dad isn’t here anymore, and my momdoesn't care what I do with my life. For once, this is going to be all about me.
I grab one of the fancier dresses Ella left behind when she moved in with her dad, hoping to boost my confidence. Okay, so it shows more cleavage than it hides and I’m pretty sure I feel a breeze at the top of my ass, but so what? I’m moving away from here before the end of the week. I might as well leave them all wondering about sweet little Chloe.
For tonight’s festivities, my little college town won’t do it. If I wanted to sit around swilling beer with a bunch of overgrown man-boys, I could have done that at any frat house within a three-mile radius. Instead, I do a quick search on my phone for something more upscale.
The Omni. Perfect. It’s not a terrible drive from here, and I’ll have just enough time to figure out a plan. On the other hand, I won’t have enough time to talk myself out of this.
After handing my keys to the valet, I walk into the most sophisticated bar in the city. I must confess that the place truly earns its reputation. I’m enveloped by the sort of refined elegance that’s been absent all my life. It casts a spell of timelessness and mystery that beckons me deeper.
Within minutes, I’m sitting on a barstool, slowly swirling my glass and causing the drink inside to spin hypnotically. A bluish haze of smoke hangs above the bar, so close to the ceiling that it's like the room has its own clouds. The smells of different liquors and mix assault my nervous senses.
From time to time, I look around the room. I can’t be imagining it, but one person in particular keeps drawing my gaze. He’s sitting almost directly to my right, watching me.
Okay. I’m about to chicken out. This had been a really great plan while I was sobbing and sniveling in my nearly packed-up apartment. But what was I thinking? I seriously drove over thirty minutes away just to meet a stranger? To unload somethingthat’s been a burden around my neck ever since I read a stolen romance novel one of my eighth-grade friends passed around?
Suddenly, this became way too real.
Still, I can’t help but look again. There’s an unnerving quality to the man, even though he is sitting far from me in the dimness. He has an aura of charisma that commands respect without trying. He’s handsome, of course, but shockingly so. I’m not usually so shallow where looks are concerned, but he’s handsome in a way that makes you stop and stare.
