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"I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there for you on your big day."
"It doesn’t matter, your wellbeing is more important to me. I know for you to miss this, it had to be something huge. You’re the one who’s always there for me, right?"
I nod my head. I can’t bring my voice to answer her because of the huge lump in my throat. Guilt and regret coalesce into a big rock that settles in the pit of my stomach.
"I’m so sorry, Ella, I didn’t mean for it to happen."I didn't mean to sleep with your dad, I add silently without daring to speak out. She smiles at me and cups my face again, gazing into my eyes with so much concern that it breaks my heart.
"I’ve told you a million times. We have so many big moments in life ahead of us that we’ll always be there for each other. This one wasn’t even close to a big day." I hug her tightly, crying.
I don’t deserve her love and care.
"Still, I wanted to be there for you but I couldn’t."Because I was busy trying to screw your father.
"Are you sick?"
"No, just… terrible cramps." That’s the only plausible excuse I can conjure up right now. I lie without blinking.Can you get worse, Chloe?I chastise myself.
"Have you taken anything to help with the pain?"
I shake my head.
"I’ll get something to help you." She tries to get up but I stop her.
"I’m fine now, it’s not so bad since I was able to rest." She looks at me unconvinced, but I assure her with a smile. "So tell me how the event went."
Her eyes light up and she grins. "It was fantastic. It’s even trending now! I got so many contacts. I’ll be ridiculously busy for the rest of the year, I’m sure. I already booked two more parties to plan!"
"I’m so happy for you." I lean forward and hug her tightly.
"Thank you," she says, standing up and giving me a theatrical bow. "But you and Dad do need to make it up to me."
"Wait, your dad didn’t come to your party either?" I ask, wincing.
"Yeah, I called when I didn’t see either of you and he told me he had an important meeting so I asked him about you. I told him you weren’t picking up your calls. He hung up and texted me later to tell me that you were at home."
Guilt and regret burn so badly in my throat. Not only did I not make it to my best friend’s party but I also ripped apart her father’s chances of being there for her. I know how much she wanted him there.
Why did Jeremy–Mr. Aaron, that is, since it’s how I’ve got to think of him from now on–decide not to attend after leaving here? Never mind, that’s not even important. I need to end this. Whatever this thing between us is needs to stop.
"I’m sorry."
"I know but you owe me a treat. I’m glad the month is almost over, which means payday is coming up. I expect to be treated lavishly to some top-tier ice cream."
"Yes, ma’am," I give a fake salute and we laugh.
"I gotta go. I need to go get out of these clothes and hit the sack. I’m bone tired." Ella waves at me over her shoulder, already heading towards my front door.
"Good night then, see you tomorrow." The moment I hear Ella lock the deadbolt of my apartment door behind her, I sit up, pull my legs towards my stomach, and rest my chin on my knees. I’ve messed up big time. I need to right my wrong before it blows up in my face.
Three hours later, I’m still tossing and turning, unable to get back to sleep. I don’t know what steps to take next. What will Ella say if I tell her what happened between her father andme? Is it a good idea to tell her myself before she accidentally discovers the truth?
God, I don’t know what to do! My head is bustling with so many thoughts. I know that Jeremy and I need to speak ASAP and hash this out once and for all. I’ll do that as soon as I can manage to get a hold of him alone.
On Monday morning,I wake up to a message from Jeremy asking me to see him in the office. We have something to talk about, and I have no doubt about what it is. He’s going to finally address “it” head-on. Good. I mean… good?
I’m oddly nervous about this talk for some strange reason. Isn’t this what I want? What’s for the best? Still, my palms are sweaty and clammy. My heart hammers ruthlessly against my ribcage and I’m almost surprised that it hasn’t torn its way out of my chest. I hope this talk goes well.
I step into the elevator and lean back against the wall. It takes me to the top floor where our offices are, the levels zipping by around me. Finally, it stops with a ding. The door slides open immediately but to me, it feels like an eternity. I inhale a gasp of steadying breath before I step out into the office. While I was hoping to get an hour or two to gather myself and be ready, I realize that Jeremy is already at work.
