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I drop my bag beneath my desk and stand up straighter. I step into his office, my heart pounding hard in my chest. I take a second to inhale and exhale before taking a seat opposite him.
Jeremy looks like a shadow of himself. He looks exhausted, and sleep-deprived. He looks like he has aged a thousand years. His eyes tell tales of his inner turmoil. I almost feel a little sorry for him despite the fact that he’s been a total jerk.
I catch a flicker of nervousness as our eyes lock briefly, which shocks me. Where is the self-confident playboy who has no trouble meeting strangers in bars and taking them upstairs for mind-blowing sex? This? This is a shell of that man. The tension is so thick, it’s as if the room itself is holding its breath. I shift my gaze from him and nervously rub the back of my neck, a bad habit I can’t seem to break that pops up whenever I’m nervous.
He clears his throat which prompts me to meet his gaze. "Chloe, I’m very sorry."
He says this so simply and with such finality. Even though I see the sincerity in his eyes, I can’t help but feel anger bubbling in the pit of my stomach. What the heck? Does he feel like a simple ‘sorry’ will fix this? I don’t know what I expected but it wasn’t this.
"What exactly are you sorry about?" I can’t even mask the venom in my voice even though my tone and composure are calm. He stares at me and this time I meet his gaze squarely. "Let me guess, you are sorry for being a complete douchebag, is that it?"
"I think I’ve behaved inappropriately towards you in the past four weeks, and I’m sincerely sorry about that."
"You think, or you know? Which is it?" I hate the fact that he’s so calm while he riles me up so much that I can’t sit still anymore.
"Fine. IknowI’ve been an ass and I’m sorry."
"For what? The part where you pretended not to know me after our one-night stand? Not that I mind, it would have been better if you’d only pretended. Instead, you treated me like I was the worst person on earth. Oh, and don’t even get me started on how you punished me with a workload you know I couldn’t finish, threatening me with being fired every single day. Or how you toyed with my emotions every chance you got."
My nostril flares and I swear I’m seeing red right now. I can’t remember ever being this angry. He stands, looks at me, starts walking towards me but then stops.
"Chloe, trust me. That wasn’t my intention."
I scoff and look at him puzzled. "Okay, then what was your intention, Mr. Aaron? I need to understand because, from the way I’m seeing things, that’s exactly what happened. So go ahead and tell me what it is I don’t understand."
"I did that because…" He stops, runs his palm across his face for a few seconds, pinches the bridge of his nose, then sighs. "I am deeply sorry. I promise to stop being an ass to you and treat you like… like my daughter."
Daughter. I wish he had not said that word. It stings.
I can’t explain the heaviness that settles on my chest. It’s so heavy that breathing seems impossible. It’s like all the oxygen has vanished from the room. I should be happy, right? He’s going to stop tormenting me, to stop driving me wild then pulling away. So why do I feel like… I can’t even explain how I feel in words.
I want to cry, the tears are burning my eyes and it takes all my effort to hold them back. My chest aches at the memory of our intimate moment and the realization that it’s never going to happen again.
Instead of voicing all these things, I merely nod. "It’s for the best," I hear him say with a hint of resignation.
I should feel happy. Relieved. I won’t feel like a bitch who betrayed her friend anymore. Everything will be put behind us, so why do I feel like I’m losing something very dear, something profound? Is this what it means to be truly selfish?
Or have I fallen in… hell no.Don’t even think about that, Chloe.
"I’m sorry for how rough I was that night." At the mention of it, a throbbing builds up in my core. It’s so hard and sudden thatI have to clench my legs together. How can I be responding like this, and under this kind of circumstance?
I look at him for a long time and something I can’t explain passes between us. It’s like we’re both back to that night. My breath hitches and I swallow hard. I manage to tear my attention away and he does the same. He clears his throat and adjusts his tie.
"You already apologized about that and you made up for it," I reminded him. Okay, maybe I shouldn’t have said the last part. There is a look on his face, a look of extreme longing. I can’t let myself look at him anymore.
"No more kissing…" he says but it sounds more like a question instead of a statement.
"No more kissing," I affirm sadly but firmly. He nods. "You will treat me normally, like your daughter’s friend and your assistant. No more insults or ridiculous tasks."
"Yes. Hard to believe, but I’m actually a really decent boss. Just asked around” he jokes, in a feeble attempt to lighten up the mood. “Truce?" He stretches out his hand to me and I take it.
"Truce." Our hands linger before he finally drops my hand.
"I’ll be working out on some job sites today so you’re free to take the day off."
"Do you need me to reschedule your meetings for today?"
"Yes, please." With that, he walks off without looking back. An emptiness that I don’t quite comprehend settles on my shoulders.
