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I nod because there’s no other answer to the question. I can't tell Madison that giving someone lilies has meanings that might seem personal—like love and romance, renewal, and sympathy.
I can't go with love since we’re supposed to be two, three people living in a cabin and co-existing until the summer ends and Lily gets her memory back. Neither can I go with romance because I can’t trust myself to love someone again, and Lily might have someone out there. Hmm, I can go with the meaning of the flower which seems appropriate—purity, innocence, and rebirth.
Renewal… is the safest meaning that can be attached to the flowers, but I don’t know which of them Lily is familiar with. I don’t know if she likes flowers or remembers or knows what giving lilies means.
And there’s the scene that almost happened before I left the cabin for the hospital.
I don’t know anything about her. Which is expected since she doesn’t remember anything about herself.
But—why does it feel sad?
I exhale. Maybe I shouldn’t put too much meaning into a kind gesture and just do it. After all, I could have Madison give it to her.
“Okay,” I nod. “We’ll get Lily some lilies.”
“Yay! Let’s go!”
CHAPTER 14
Kaylee
I eventually sit on the couch after minutes of pacing around the living room. I said I would nap, but how do I do that when my mind is spinning in circles?
The almost-kiss.
I knew it when he moved close enough that I could feel his breath on my face. His hand on my face, the caress of his fingers on my cheeks sent a pleasant flutter through my belly. Even though I kept my eyes closed and tried as much as possible not to let it show that I wasn’t sleeping, I wanted him to kiss me.
I wanted it to finally happen—for the thoughts in my mind to fade away and for indulgence to win, at least this once. If Logan had kissed me, I would have responded.I know it.
But he did the gentleman thing and stopped.
Which left me with a mix of relief and disappointment. Relief that we didn’t cross the line into the unsure zone and disappointment that I couldn’t get the satisfaction that my body craved after the seconds of torture.
And then I decided to take a nap.
A nap that each time I closed my eyes, all my mind wanted to do was paint pictures and create scenarios of what would have happened if we had kissed.
And every single one of them—in every version, it was epic.
“I need to get my memory back,” I mutter. “If there’s someone, I’m saving myself for, then I need to know. I hate that I can't do what I want, and I’m also carrying the guilt of a probable partner being out there.”
That’s probably why he didn’t do anything either, I muse.
Or Logan, like me, has personal reasons why he’s been holding on the tail end of control’s long coat.
I click my tongue. “Oh well.”
I had better get myself together before he returns.
When I hear the familiar sound of Logan’s car, I abandon the rational conclusion I came to seconds ago, heading straight for the window. A smile settles on my face as I watch him get out of the car and help Madison.
She stands by the window, a proud smile on her face as she watches the interaction between her husband and her daughter.
I shake my head as quickly as the thought runs through me, snapping out of my reverie. But I stay by the window, looking at the scene play out. Madison holds a bouquet of lilies as they head to the front door.
I quickly leave the window before they reach the porch, heading straight for the hallway. I wait until they get in and act like I just woke up from the nap, dragging my feet sluggishly into the living room.
“Hi,” I say, fake yawning. “I didn’t think—I just woke up from sleep.”
