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Chapter Eleven
Corey
I pressedthe start button on the GPS once we cleared the edge of town. I knew that there wouldn’t be too many turns before we reached the city, but I didn’t want to risk it.
Today was the day of my baby’s appointment. We were both nervous about what was ahead. Up to now, we had been making adjustments as best as possible for him under the premise that we didn’t speak about his hearing loss. After this appointment, though, we would have to come to grips with whatever news we were given.
I wanted to talk to him as I drove, but it was hard to do so when I knew he needed to read my lips to hear properly sometimes. It wasn’t all the time, though enough for me to always ensure he had a view of my mouth.
As I tried to think of a solution, he spoke up. “Daddy, I know you’re thinking about some stuff over there. I can face you and watch your lips if I stumble over a word or two. You don’t have to be quiet just because I am.”
I sent him a look that spoke of understanding. Not that I was struggling with my hearing. It was more that I understood his desire not to sit in the silence.
It was rare for us to not have something to talk about. Silence meant we were sleeping.
With all the guys we worked around, there was always some type of gossip going around. Gerald had been the topic for a while, of course. When that led to a dead end, we didn’t talk about him anymore. It was too hard.
But now…
“Do you really think that the guy Travis knew, the one Robin hired, is going to find them? What if they don’t want to be found?” He knew who 'them' was without me asking.
It was an idea I had been pondering. When Gerald checked himself out of rehab, he dropped off the face of the Earth. And when we put out a report saying he was missing, he had the sheriff send back word he was fine and didn’t want to be bothered. Pushing him even further would only cause problems.
Which made me wonder who was person at fault here.
What if we were the problems? What if him being away from us was healing him? Would we be derailing the happiness he could have in the future by forcing ourselves upon him?
As if he could read my mind, my boy replied, “I think that he'll find them. And I think that he'll probably tell us whether or not we should get involved before he actually gives us any information. From the way Travis spoke about him, it seemed like he was the type that did what was best for everyone involved. Especially for someone who was basically on the run.”
I drove slowly as I thought about his words. It made sense. How many domestic violence situations were worsened at the hands of a private investigator just trying to do their job and unknowingly reconnecting the victim with their abuser?
“All I want is to know that he’s ok. At first, I really thought that bringing him back was the best option. The more time that’s passed though, I’ve really had to think and ask myself if we’re the best fit for him.”
“That’s a smart way to think, Daddy. It means you care about his happiness more than you care about your own. That’s what makes you so awesome!” He wiggled in his seat all happy like.
“Did I hear something about Ean coming to visit as well?” It had been a minute since he’d come through.
My boy drummed his fingers along the handle of the door. His body was turned towards mine, his eyes examining everything I did.
“The way Travis put it, yes. He said he would be out as soon as he could but that things have been kind of busy. Being a movie star kept him busy even without acting deals. I wouldn’t know since I don’t really watch that many movies anymore.”
“We need to rectify that soon. Ean is a phenomenal actor. More than that, I think you deserve a little more rest than you’ve had. Even coming to the ranch hasn’t been a vacation for you. You retired from the military, dammit. You’ve had an entire freaking career and yet you’re still working.”
As I said the words, anger surged through me. I wished I could provide more for him so that he didn’t have to work. We had everything we could ever want at the ranch. There was never a moment of being hungry or not having clothes or shelter.
But as his Daddy, I wanted to spoil him as well. It was just so damn hard. My boy didn’t want things like others did. He didn’t covet toys or long for bottles and diapers. He simply basked in the joy of having me support him. It was like my caring for him was a gift.
“I’m working because it’s boring not to. What kind of person would I be to sit around and watch everyone else work all day long while I did nothing? I’m able-bodied. I’m strong. I enjoy having the company of whoever I’m working with. And honestly, the animals kind of make it irresistible.”
I chuckled as I agreed with him. The animals were a lot of the charm of the ranch. The people were remarkable too; however, they didn’t have that same fluffy cuteness that our cows had.
“You’re sure? If there ever comes a time that you no longer want to work, then we'll make the change. I’m with you to the end.”
Ashley reached over to grab my hand. We were on a long stretch of highway, and I knew there wouldn’t be any turn off soon, so I linked our fingers together.
“I’m sure, Daddy. The Coleman Ranch is where I was always meant to be. It’s home. It’s where my family is now.”
At the doctor’soffice that Sean recommended, I parked and went around to get my boy out of the truck. It was funny seeing the big rust bucket in the parking lot full of really nice model cars. You could tell from one glance it didn’t belong in the city, and neither did we.
