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“What about it?”
“Did you mean it?”
“Every word,” he replies without missing a beat, making me smile.
“I like you. A lot. I—I want something more, if you're willing.”
“Baby girl,” his voice comes out husky, and I have to remind myself now is not the time. “I’d love to be something more with you.”
“What about Toby?”
“What about him?” his voice grows hard. He’s pissed at his best friend and rightfully so.
“I’m a mess when it comes to him, and I don’t know when that’s going to end, if it ever does. Is that something you're okay with? Knowing that I love another man while I’m with you?”
“I’ve known your feelings for Toby pretty much from the start. It’s never stopped me from feeling the way I did about you. The way I still do. I knew that Toby was always going to be a factor, and I asked myself a long time ago if I was okay with that. And I am. So, if you find a way to make things work with Toby and you want to be with him too, I support that. If you choose not to become anything more, but can’t seem to make those feelings go away, then that’s fine too. I will not leave you for loving someone else. I will not deny myself you because your heart belongs to more than one person. I’ve seen the love your family has for one another. If they can make it work, then I know we can. We at least have to try, right?”
“Right,” my voice cracks. “You're amazing, you know that?”
“Nah. You’re the amazing one.”
I giggle, burying my face into his chest. That was a lot to take in.
“Toby is my best friend. I love him too, although in a different way. But, Lilly, if there comes a time that Toby isn’t okay with what we have, and he makes you choose, I’ll step back. He was in your heart first, I wouldn’t put you through the pain of having to make a decision.”
“Stop it,” I say firmly. “Toby doesn’t get the right to tell me to pick. He’d be fucking lucky if he even stood a chance. I don’t want to talk about him and all of that. Everything is so fucked up right now. But I will tell you, no, you won’t step back. I want you, Bishop. You’re mine,” I growl, looking up at him. “If he can’t accept that, then he won’t get to be with me.”
I know there's something deeper going on with him, and I will find out what it is. But he doesn’t get to treat me the way he did, then start demanding and telling me how to live my life and what I have to do.
“Oh, yeah?” he chuckles. He leans in and presses a kiss to my lips. “I’m yours, am I?” I nod. “I kind of love the sound of that. And that growl, damn, baby, your possessiveness over me already is a major turn on.”
I smile and his responding grin is so wide on his handsome face. “So, what does this mean?” I ask, biting my lower lip.
“Well, it means I’m yours and you're mine,” he chuckles.
“So, like your girlfriend?” I know it’s corny, but I need the label or I'll go out of my mind.
“Lillianna Tatum,” he pauses, voice low, sending a shiver down my spine.
“Yes?” I breathe.
“Will you be my girlfriend?” His question makes me giddy and happy. It’s everything I need after this shitty night.
“Yes.”
He growls, his eyes flaring. I squeal as he flips me over, pins me to the bed, and kisses me until I’m a puddle under him.
I want him, I want more.
“No more,” he whispers against my lips, both of our breaths coming out in heavy pants. “Sleep. I need to talk to him, to tell him about my feelings for you before anything goes further. If he wasn’t such a bastard, I would have waited to make things official. But fuck it, you're mine whether he likes it or not. I’m just giving him this courtesy as his best friend.”
“Okay,” I agree. I’m a little disappointed, but it’s for the better because I had sex for the first time tonight, and I don’t want mine and Bishop’s first time to be in the middle of an emotional breakdown on that same night.
How can nothing have gone right tonight but still ended with something so good? No, the way we confessed our feelings for one another wasn’t in the most romantic way, but life is messy and unpredictable. You go with it or let it drag you down.
“Sleep,” he tells me again. I curl up on my side as he tucks himself against my back. Because of Bishop, I’m able to fall asleep with nothing else but us on my mind. I know tomorrow I’ll have to deal with the harsh reality that is my life, but for right now, it’s just Bishop and me.
Chapter 33
