Page 17 of A Game Of Choice


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How could I have been? I was six. There wasn’t any way I could have helped her, aside from screaming for help.

But I didn’t see it like that back then. And from that moment on, I vowed to protect her. At the time, it was just a little boy making a big promise.

Over time, things changed. We got older and that protectiveness I felt over her, that obsessiveness that fueled me, wasn’t something a big brother felt for a little sister.

No, it was something much more. And for as long as I could, I gave into that feeling. I soaked up every laugh, smile, hug, and cuddle she gave me. When we became teenagers, I started sleeping in her bed when I couldn’t sleep. Her being in my arms was the only thing that settled me. I didn’t care how wrong it was.

But then people started talking and I started to see just how wrong my feelings for her were.

Everywhere I turned, people reminded me that she was my sister. They asked why I always brought my sister along with me, that it was weird. The thing is, none of them blamed it on me, they always made Lilly out to be the sick one.

Your sister is sick, look at her staring at you like that.

She’s acting like you’re her boyfriend, how sad is that?

How pathetic, she can’t get anyone else, so she goes after her own brother.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve gotten into fist fights with people who opened their mouths and went too far.

I was torn between keeping my distance to protect her from their nasty words and staying close so that no one would mess with her.

Something big happened my senior year of high school and changed everything. It changed me, and not for the better. I tried so hard to stay the man I was before, but as time went on, it got harder and harder.

I became bitter, more angry. At first, the fighting stayed on the rink. But then I was at risk of losing it all because I found any reason to rip my gloves off and get in a fight. I was the goalie, for fuck’s sake, people fight to protect me, and there I was putting myself at risk.

My dad sat me down and told me if I didn’t stop, I’d lose everything I’d worked so hard for.

So, when I graduated, I told myself I would distance myself from Lilly. She’d have a clean slate. When I was here, she was still in high school. She had her friends, and I had mine.

As much as it hurt, I came to SVU and put everything I had into hockey, making it my whole life. At first, it worked. I hardly ever let a puck in.

Then, she started dating Jonas, bringing him to my fucking games, and it was so damn hard to concentrate when all I had to do was look up in the stands, and see her laughing and smiling at him.

“Get a hold of yourself,” I growl at my reflection. I need to drink. To forget about what I just did and how gross it made me feel.

I leave the bathroom in an overall shitty mood. I join my teammates out back and we sit around the fire, drinking while reliving games from last year. Just for a moment, I’m able to forget about every thing.

That is until some drunk football player named Brandon Cole comes stumbling over. “Hey, Munro.”

I look over my shoulder at Bishop, brows furrowed, and we both look over at the guy.

“Yeah?”

“Dude, you never told us how hot your little sister is.” He chuckles, and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

“What the fuck?” I snarl, getting to my feet. “Why the fuck would you say that?” It’s so random and out of the blue.

“And you too, Grant.” He grins at Bishop. “They’re both smokin’.” He and his buddy start cackling like hyenas.

Unlike me, Bishop is quick to nip this in the bud as Bianca’s actual brother. “Don’t fucking talk about how hot my sister is to me, man. That’s weird. Stay the fuck away from her too.” He shakes his head, taking a drink of his beer.

“I don’t think it’s us you need to worry about,” Brandon says.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I ask, taking a step forward, my shitty mood making me extra on-edge tonight.

“Seeing how they’re giving the whole party a strip tease in there, you have the football and hockey teams drooling over them.”

My eyes snap to Bishop, and he’s out of his seat in a flash, taking off toward the house.

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