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“She’s gonna sleep in mine and Bishop's room. And she’s doing a hell of a lot better than you.”
She glares at me. “I’m very pissed off at you.”
“What? Why? What did I do?”
“You know what you did.” She narrows her eyes at me.
“No... I really don’t.”
She shakes her head and groans. Weird. I try to ignore her dry heaving as I gather Lilly’s change of pajamas and pillow. “Let me know if you need anything,” Bishop offers before taking the bucket and leaving to clean it.
“Toby,” Bianca says, stopping me as I get to the door.
“Yeah?” I look over to see her lying back on her bed.
“Don’t forget to wash your dick,” she sneers.
My brows jump. “What the fuck?”
She just closes her eyes, rolling over and giving me her back. Why the hell would she say that?
My gut sinks and my heart races. “Bee... Did you guys see something you shouldn’t have?”
She says nothing for a few seconds too long. “Next time, close the damn door.”
Fuck. Oh, fuck no. Please don’t tell me Lilly saw that girl sucking me off. I feel like I’m going to be sick.
I leave the room with my skin crawling, but I come to a halt, just standing in the hallway. I don’t even want to look at Lilly right now, knowing what she saw.
I’m not stupid. I’ve known exactly how Lilly has felt about me. I’ve seen the way she looks at me. And the thing is, I loved it. Because I knew one day, she would be mine.
Until life showed me just how wrong I was.
So knowing I’ve hurt her in so many ways, I hate myself even more. Opening my door, my eyes go right to Lilly. She’s in Bishop’s bed, already passed out.
I sigh, looking down at the bundle of clothes and pillow gripped in my hand. Bringing them over to the bed, I place them down. I’m about to go to my side of the room when Lilly speaks.
“Why don’t you love me?” she murmurs ever so softly.
My head snaps in her direction. “I do love you.”
“Not like a little sister. Love me... how... I... love you.” It takes her a while to get the words out as she drifts in and out of sleep.
I shouldn’t ask but I do. “And how do you love me?”
“With... my whole... heart... and soul...”
I’m frozen, standing there waiting for her to say something else, but she doesn’t.
She falls back to sleep. I walk over to her and lean down, kissing her on the forehead. “I love you with my whole heart and soul too, Little Flower. That’s why I won’t be the reason the assholes of the world bring you down.”
I leave her sleeping and go to the showers. I don’t know how long I spend under the hot water, scrubbing myself clean, needing to get that girl off of me.
My dad told me I needed to get my anger out in other ways, to stop picking fights and causing problems. I can’t risk getting kicked off the team, and after tonight, I know that I can’t do anything else with another girl. Just thinking about it makes me sick.
The only thing I can think of is drinking, and that's a slippery slope I’m not sure I can go down.
By the time I’m out of the shower and changed, I know what I’m going to have to do. And Bishop is going to lose his shit.
