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“I knew it was going to be a change having her here, but fuck, man, I don’t know if I can do it.”
“Do what?” I start the engine and pull out of the parking lot.
“Keep my anger in check. Any time I think about her with someone else, I want to rip someone's face off.”
“You need to watch it, T. You remember what Jax said? You get into any fights, you're getting benched. And as good as Jonas is, we need you in that net.”
When we first got here, Toby was dealing with some demons from his past. And being away from Lilly added to his frustrations. He started getting into fights on and off the ice. It was becoming an issue until we found a different way to burn it out of his system, only that started becoming an issue, and he had to stop. He’s been struggling ever since.
And now with Lilly here, shit’s only going to go downhill fast. Stubborn fucker could just solve a lot of it by telling Lilly how he feels. I’m not stupid, I know she feels the same way about him. She looks at him like he hung the moon.
“I know. I know. And that's why I think I should start going to the ring more.” He looks over at me, waiting for my reaction.
“Toby,” I sigh, shaking my head. “It’s not that I’m against the rings, but last time you depended on them so much, your hands were always fucked up and you were in pain during games. It’s a risk to your health.”
“I’ll keep it to once a week, at most. Saturday nights, if I need to blow off steam. I won’t take on more than one fight. Just one. Enough to relieve some pent up energy and anger. That's it.”
I can see the pain on his face. He’s struggling. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. I can’t...” He looks out the window, running a hand over his face. “I can’t use girls to forget anymore. Not with Lilly here on campus. It makes me sick, it makes my skin crawl, being with anyone else.” His fist clenches and unclenches. “I can’t.”
“I... alright.” I nod as we pull into the dorms. “T.”
He looks over at me. “Yeah?”
“Why don’t you just tell her?”
His face darkens. “Don’t start, Bishop. You know I can’t. I won’t do that to her. It’s not even just about what people would say, it’s the fact that I’m broken. She deserves better than someone with anger issues and who wakes up screaming from night terrors every night.”
“You're too fucking hard on yourself, man. I think you should let Lilly decide for herself.”
He shakes his head. “It’s not happening, so just drop it.”
We get out of the Jeep and head inside the dorm. We don’t have any classes for another two hours, so relaxing after that hour of practice is needed.
Giggling filters through the hallway as we walk toward our dorm room. I grin over at Toby, who looks amused. I jog ahead a few steps and pause in the girls' open door. “What are you two giggling about?”
Lilly looks up from her phone, a smile taking over her pretty face. She’s sitting on the edge of B’s bed as my sister stands by her closet.
“Just something someone said.” Lilly blushes, and I raise a brow.
“Oh, really. Who’s this someone?”
“That would be Ryyyyaaann,” Bianca sing-songs in a teasing tone. “They stayed up late texting. He’s so corny, it’s adorable.”
Toby makes a disgruntled sound from behind me. This isn’t gonna be good.
“Stop.” Lilly laughs. “We’re just texting.”
“And going on a date this weekend,” Bianca counters, holding up one of her dresses. “I think you should wear this.”
Lilly’s eyes widen. “Ah, no. That’s a nice dress but it’s more for a club. He’s taking me to a movie. I’d rather be in something comfortable.”
“That's no fun.” Bianca pouts. “How are you gonna get laid in your granny get up?”
Lilly chokes out a laugh, shooting me a look. I don’t think she knows Toby is behind me, but I can feel the man ready to explode as his eyes bore into my back.
“B!” Lilly scolds her.
