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I’m only fooling myself, because it’s not anything more than an older brother protecting his little sister. All these years, I’ve just convinced myself that it was something more.
Tonight showed me I’m not ready to date yet, but I do know I want to sometime soon. I want to be able to go out and enjoy being with someone without thinking of him. To laugh, smile, and not wish I was holding hands with someone else.
Toby says he wants our friendship back and that he’s going to do what he can to prove he’s sorry.
I should tell him no, to keep him out of my life, but I must be some kind of masochist because the idea of not having him in my life at all, feels like all the air in my lungs is being sucked out. It might be pathetic, but I think I’d take anything he’s willing to give, even if it’s just being friends. No matter how much it’s going to hurt me in the long run.
I just need to learn to live my life without him being my person. He can’t be that for me anymore, it will kill me. I have no doubt about that.
Chapter 14
Lillianna
“Do you think it’s going to be like before?” Bianca asks me as I tidy up my side of the room before I leave. I didn’t pack a bag because I’m only going home for two nights, and I have things back home. I should only need my purse, phone, and charger.
“What do you mean?” I pause making my bed and look over at her.
“With you and Toby. He said he was going to stop being an ass, but has that actually started yet?”
“Kinda?” I sit down on the edge of my bed. “I don’t know. I mean, he’s not going out of his way to avoid me. But with school, working out, and hockey practice, I haven’t seen much of him anyway.”
Other than when he came out of his room to try and intimidate Ryan, and watching me like a creeper when I got home.
I have no idea where Toby and I stand right now, and I hate it. We’re both going home tonight because our parents miss us, so we agreed to the whole weekend, and not just supper on Sunday. Both of our dads had insisted on Toby driving me even though I’m perfectly capable of taking my own car. When I brought this up to him, he said it’s better to take one car to save the environment. Yeah, okay.
“I swear, Lills, if he’s a royal dick to you this weekend and nothing changes, I am invoking my best friend card and kicking his ass.”
I grin, loving how much my bestie has my back. “And I’ll get popcorn to watch while you do it. Oh! And I’ll video tape it so we can look back and watch it later.”
“I knew you were meant to be mine,” she says with a dreamy sigh.
There's a knock on the door and both our eyes swing to it. “Who do you think it is?” she whispers, flicking her gaze to me. “Oh my god, do you think it’s the stick man from The Chilling?” she asks so seriously that it’s kinda sad.
“You are nuts.” I giggle. “It’s noon, babe. I don’t think the stick man would be walking around in broad daylight. Also, remind me never to let you watch another scary movie. You always get over the top after.”
“It was based on a true story!” she hisses, wide eyed. “And a good chunk of it happened on a college campus, to a group of girls.” She waves her hand between us. “Helloooo? Girls, college campus.”
“Helloooo?” I copy before my expression deadpans and I say, “you’re nuts.” I’m about to tell her it’s probably Toby being early, but there’s another knock—no, this time it’s a bang. And it won’t stop.
Bee jumps out of bed and runs over to her closet, pulling out a bat. “Okay, you open the door, and I’ll swing.” She brings the bat to her shoulder, looking ready to strike any moment.
I roll my eyes. “Put the damn bat down.”
“Be careful!” She follows behind me as I head for the door. The banging keeps going right up until the moment my hand touches the door knob.
Breaking into a nervous sweat, my belly flips, heart pounding. “Oh my god, we’re going to die!” she whispers-shouts, looking like she’s on the verge of a breakdown.
Slowly, I rise on my tip toes and bring my eye to the peephole. When I see nothing in the hall or in front of our door, I look over at Bee with furrowed brows. “There’s no one out there. It was probably someone playing a prank or being a pain.”
“No!” she hisses as I go for the knob again. “It’s what they want you to think.”
“Bee, you’re being dramatic.” I take a deep breath, telling myself we’re just hyping ourselves up and there really is nothing out there.
Twisting the door knob, I swing the door open and... nothing.
“See.” I step back to show her the empty doorway. She steps forward, bat still in her grasp. “There’s not—”
“Wanna play a game?” A mechanical voice asks as a person dressed as Ghost Face steps into the doorway.
