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I let out a little squeak as he picks me up and deposits me next to him on the couch before jumping to his feet. I blink up at him, confused as he stands there, running a hand through his sweaty hair.
He looks at me with this gutted look on his face.
My stomach drops as dread fills it, all the warm and fuzzy feelings evaporate. “Toby?” His name comes out in a low, shaky whisper.
“T-that.” He lets out a shaky breath as he grips his hair and tugs on it. “That shouldn’t have happened.”
Mouth agape, I blink at him. “W-what?”
He shakes his head. “We shouldn’t have done that.”
“Why the hell not?” I ask, trying not to cry. I’m not just heartbroken again, I’m fucking pissed.
“Because,” he hisses, his eyes wild. “You’re my sister.”
I let out a harsh laugh. This fucking guy really has the fucking nerve to say that. “Yeah? Since when? And news flash, buddy, brothers and sisters don’t do what we just did.”
He runs a hand over his face. “It shouldn’t have happened. Please, can we just forget it?”
Fury flairs inside me. “Fuck you, Toby.” His name comes out in a broken rasp as I jump to my feet. “Fuck you for acting like there isn’t something between us. Fuck you for acting like I’m your whole world and letting me make you mine only for you to toss me to the side for two fucking years. And fuck you for coming back into my life, telling me you want things back to how they were, only to give me something I’ve wanted for so fucking long just for you to toss me aside again. Just... fuck you!”
I take off running up the stairs. I don’t go to my room because I don’t want anyone to hear me cry. Instead, I head for the pool house, locking the door behind me and collapsing onto the bed. Pulling the blanket up, I cuddle into it and let the tears flow.
I hate him in this moment. I hate him for making me feel so alive only to completely crush me after.
I always wanted to know if he had feelings for me like I did for him, and I guess I just got my answer. Does he only want me for my body and not for my heart?
Well, screw him, because it’s not one or the other. If he doesn’t want all of me, then the selfish asshole can have nothing.
Chapter 16
Tobias
Ihate myself right now. I’m sitting across from Lilly at the kitchen table, having supper with my family. All I can think about was how it felt to have her lips on mine, the taste of her tongue, the feeling of her pussy grinding against my cock until we both came apart in each other's arms.
It was everything I’ve ever wanted and more. Only, it shouldn’t have happened. It’s not that I didn’t want it to, because fuck, I want her so damn bad it kills me sometimes not being able to touch her. But I’m supposed to be trying to build back that trust with her, have her back in my life, and I think I fucked it all up again, already.
She won’t look at me, avoiding eye contact as much as possible. When our eyes do meet, her glare is so cold it feels like a punch to the gut.
Is this how she felt when it was me on the other side of those looks? Just another reason I hate myself. I was wrong, so fucking wrong, for treating her how I did the past two years. I thought that if I put some distance between us, it would be easier for us both to move on.
I was so damn wrong.
Last night started off great. We watched a movie with our family. She sat next to me on the couch the whole time. And when everyone went upstairs, I wanted her to myself. We should have just watched the movie and enjoyed being in each other's company. But then we started joking around and it felt like old times. I loved it. She was sitting in my lap, in my arms.
It wasn’t anything we hadn’t done before, and maybe that's the problem. How many sisters sit in their brother’s lap and cuddle? None that I know of.
I tried to watch the movie, but it was so damn hard when the girl I’ve always wanted but couldn't have was sitting in my lap. My cock was semi-hard the whole time, and I spent more time trying to think of weird things to keep it from going full mast than watching the actual movie.
Then she looked up at me with those big blue eyes. I could get lost in them for days. We started talking, the sexual tension so thick it was undeniable.
The way she looked at me with her lips parted, and each of her breaths coming out unsteadily. It was like she was begging to be kissed.
And when I didn’t close the distance between us, causing a look of disappointment to flash in her eyes, I knew I couldn’t just let her leave.
So I did something I’ve been dying to do for so fucking long. I kissed her. And it was as if everything in the world felt right, perfect. Like kissing me was what she was meant to be doing.
I was hooked on the taste of her lips the moment mine met hers. Something inside me opened up, a hunger I’ve been burying deep down clawed its way to the surface.
