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“Not really,” I sigh deeply.
She steps away and moves to her bed, patting the spot next to her. “Talk to me, babe.”
Crisscrossing my legs, I sit next to her. “My heart, it’s a mess right now,” I admit.
“Toby?” she growls. She loves him, but she also doesn’t like how he’s been treating me. I expected her to be more mad, but for some reason she never is. If only she knew the things he’s done.
I nod. “So movie night the other week, Toby and I stayed down in the basement to watch another movie.”
“Yes.” She nods.
“Long story short, we ended up making out.” My cheeks burn so damn hot I’m surprised I don’t burst into flames.
Her brows jump. “You kissed?” I nod, looking guilty. “And then what happened?”
I skip over the dry humping because I am not going into details with that. “He told me it was a mistake because I was his sister.”
“That little shit,” she hisses. “He might be like a son to me, and you're my daughter, but you two have never had a sibling relationship, and we all know it.”
“That's pretty much what I’ve been telling him. But he still thinks it’s wrong. I don’t get it. Look at our family, it’s not conventional, but it works for us. Does that mean he thinks how you, mom, and dads live your lives is wrong? Because I sure as hell don’t.”
“Because it’s not,” she states strongly.
“So, that kind of put us back to square one when it comes to the strain in our friendship. Just when I thought I’d get my old Toby back.” My eyes tear up.
“Honey, Toby... he’s grown up a lot over the past few years, and there's things you don’t know. It’s taken a toll on him. I don’t agree with how he’s been treating you—I want to wring his damn neck sometimes—but please don’t give up on him. I’m not asking you to sit back and take his shit, but just... don’t hate him for it.”
I blink at her, stunned. “What do you mean he’s been through stuff? What? When?” I ask urgently.
She shakes her head. “It’s not my place to say anything. I’m sorry.”
I want to yell, demand to know what's going on. But if she’s saying something happened, is that why he’s been so cold to me the past few years? Did whatever it was change him that much? And why didn’t he tell me about it? Why didn’t he come to me and let me help him? Didn’t he know I’d be there for him no matter what?
“It’s not just Toby,” I admit, making a mental note to circle back to the Toby thing later.
She gives me a small, knowing grin. “Let me guess. The dark-haired, tattooed hockey player you almost kissed last week?”
My brows shoot up, eyes widening. “W-What? You saw that?” My cheeks go crimson. I shouldn’t be surprised, the pool is in view of the back door.
She just shrugs. “Is it him we’re talking about?”
Chewing on my lower lip, I nod. “I like him. A lot,” I confess. “At first I wasn’t sure, but things have been slowly changing over the past week. I can’t stop thinking about him. When he texts me, I get all excited, and when I see him, my belly goes nuts.” Not just with butterflies, but that heated feeling too. Not going to tell Mama that, though.
She gives me a genuinely excited smile. “I like this side of you,” she laughs. “I’ve never seen you like this before.”
I smile. “I like how he makes me feel,” I whisper, and then my smile drops. “But I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if he feels the same way, and I don’t want to mess up our friendship by reading this wrong and making the wrong move. And then there's Toby.” I groan, flopping back on the bed. “It’s so wrong.”
“What about this do you think is wrong?”
“Everything. Having feelings for my stepbrother, having feelings for his best friend who is also my best friend. And...”
“Don’t you say it, Lilly,” she says in a warning. “If you tell me that having feelings for more than one person is wrong, I might have to beat your ass for the first time in your life.”
That makes me giggle. “No. I wasn’t going to say that. I’m just confused, I guess.”
She nods. “First off, it’s okay to love more than one person. Never feel ashamed of that. I know not everyone is able to live the life me, your mom, and dads do, but love really is a powerful thing. If they wanted you bad enough, they would learn to share.”
“Thanks.” I roll my eyes.
