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Before we head downstairs, I rush to the bathroom. I don’t want to be interrupted while eating. If it tastes as good as it smells, I want to eat until I explode.
Rax slides a bowl over to me when we get to the kitchen and I breathe in deeply, loving the smell of the fragrant stew. “Zeke is a god,” I mumble, pulling the bowl to me and taking a hearty spoonful. I groan as it hits my taste buds. “Damn. What’s higher than a god?” I ask rhetorically.
Instead of scowling like he does any other time, Rax’s lips do this kind of twitching thing. Almost like he wants to smile.
Not wanting to figure out what’s going on with his face, I duck my head and get back to my stew. A plate of bread is slid over to me and I grab a piece with a muttered thank you, then go back to eating. This stew really is phenomenal. If I ever speak to Zeke again, I’ll have to thank him.
“Are you okay?” Rax asks me randomly and my head flies up to look at him.
“Huh?”
He sighs and pushes his empty bowl away. “Look, I’m not … good with words and shit. Just tell me, are you okay?”
I want to say yes, so he’ll leave me alone with my thoughts and stew, but my stupid mouth betrays me. “No,” I say quietly, tucking my hands in my lap. “I feel like I have to be on guard all the time. Like you’ll kill me in my sleep and no one will know what happened to me. I’m scared all day.”
He stares at me for a long moment, his assessing gaze making me fidget and my heart rate kick up. Finally, he says, “Let’s make a deal.”
My eyebrows shoot up to my forehead. I didn’t expect that at all. I expected him to grunt and yell, to tell me to stop being fucking dramatic and he’ll let me go as soon as he’s done with me. “I won’t hurt you. I promise. I pride myself on keeping my word. I don’t have anything else. I promise neither I, nor my brothers, will harm you in any way. In return, you have to promise not to run. You have to promise not to find a way to alert the cops to my location or what my club is doing to help. You keep your end of the bargain and I will too. Deal?”
I start to blurt out yes, fuck yes, I’ll do whatever as long as he doesn’t hurt me, but I look down and see the red mark around my wrist. “No more cuffing me to the bed,” I mutter.
“No more running off while I have shampoo in my fucking eyes.”
I dip my head, “Deal.”
“Good. No more handcuffs.”
“And no more yelling in my face.”
He scoffs. “If I have to, I will. The deal is what I told you it was and no handcuffs. No more.”
My mouth turns down in a frown. Guess I can’t have it all. I’ll just have to make him be nice to me. Maybe my plan to use my body won’t be a wash after all.
“Fine.” I finish my stew, take our bowls, and put them in the dishwasher after I rinse them. I head to the couch and have a seat, turning the television on. It takes a moment for Rax to join me.
I try to figure out where we stand right now. A tentative truce? Should I trust it? He did kidnap me. Took me against my will when all he had to do was steal my car to get away. Why am I here? He never told me, just that I need to do what he says and I’ll live.
“Why did you take me?” I ask, needing to know the answer now that I thought about it.
“Needed a driver,” he says simply. “Like I said, I haven’t been behind the wheel in years. Probably over ten years since I was used to riding my chopper if I needed to go anywhere. Our road captain would do the driving. I was worried I couldn't handle a longer drive than what I drove away from the prison. Also…”
“Also, what?” I wonder when his voice trails off.
“I need someone to bargain with the cops in case there’s a standoff. You for them to take me in alive. I don’t wanna go back to prison, but I don’t want to be hunted down like an animal and murdered by those bitches with badges.”
My stomach churns at that thought. I’m basically a bargaining chip just in case cops come for him. I get it, but I don’t like it.
Sighing, I sit back on the couch and bring my legs up to my chest. “Thanks for being honest.”
I’m not sure how I feel about his honesty though. I know where I stand with him, but I don’t like the fact that he admitted it so baldly. Would I rather he lied? No, not at all. I know I don’t mean anything to him. I can’t be upset that he doesn’t care. Hell, I don’t care about him. Not really.
I mean, it would be nice to fuck him once or twice. Despite the bullshit I’m in, the air of danger around him and how he handled me when I ran hasn’t left my mind. The way my brain goes between being afraid and being turned on is really confusing. I’m not sure which one to settle on.
Since I laid eyes on him, I thought of how handsome he is and with his muscles and thick body, how he could toss me around and fuck me into the ground. Maybe we can work something like that into our deal too. Like he said, we won’t see each other after he lets me go, so why not enjoy it?
That’s stupid. It’s stupid and impulsive and a terrible idea and one I desperately want. Am I brave enough to ask for it? One hundred percent no. If the opportunity presents itself, then sure. Maybe.
But he’s already shut me down once, so I should probably just imagine how good it would have been. God knows that’s all it’ll be.
