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Chapter 11
Finn
The next few days pass in a tense truce. I know it makes Rax nervous every night I go to bed without my hand cuffed to the headboard. A few times, I woke up in the middle of the night to him opening my door to check on me, making sure I was still where he left me. I wanted to shout at him and tell him that just like him, I can keep my promises, but wasn't worth the argument. He would just yell back at me, then bring the handcuffs back out.
Anything but that.
It’s been really nice to roll over and not be woken up because I damn near pulled my arm out of the socket. I wake up every morning feeling well rested. Less scared as the days go on.
I know I shouldn’t trust the word of a killer, but what other choice do I have? Continue to be afraid or try to make these days as easy on me as I can? He said it’ll only be a few weeks, then he’s out of the country. So, for a few weeks, I may as well pretend it’s an extended vacation. For my own sanity if nothing else.
Again, the thought enters my mind to try to use my body to ensure I really am let go unharmed. And if I’m being honest, to fuck someone as dangerous as Rax has been a fantasy of mine. Who would know besides the two of us?
Sick. I’m fucking sick for thinking it, I know it. He fucking killed people and he’s on the run from the police. He’s going to skip the country and hide out in another because of a prison escape that happened after he took someone’s life. Who would want to fuck someone like that?
Me. That’s who.
The thought of him doing those terrible things doesn’t soften my cock at all. I’m not ashamed to say that I’ve pleasured myself thinking about Rax on top of me, his dick between the cheeks of my ass after he tackled me to the floor. I was in hysterics, but when I think back, he was hard and his thick shaft on me makes me shiver with want.
I scoff and throw the blankets from my legs, not being able to sleep and not wanting to continue to think of what I can’t have. He didn’t emphasize it, but I know Rax is straight. One thing I told myself after I came out is I’d never be the idiot that goes after or falls for a straight man. That’s a recipe for disaster.
It’s the middle of the night, but I’m having trouble sleeping, so I head downstairs to get some water, hoping I can get some sleep after a nice cool drink. Also, it feels good to be up and out of the bed without calling Rax to unlock my cuff.
As I descend the stairs, I see the moon and stars shining brightly through the windows. The front of the cabin has some large, floor to ceiling windows, letting in a lot of natural light. It’s beautiful, would probably be even more so if it wasn’t in the middle of nowhere, though that’s where cabins belong, I supposed. I’m almost sure at one point, I’ll look outside and see a deer or something else more terrifying outside, staring back at me. Wanting to take a bite out of my ass.
I snort laugh thinking about that and almost jump out of my skin when I hear a gruff voice ask, “What’s funny?”
“Shit fuck, Rax. You scared me.”
He doesn’t apologize—just looks at me, tipping the bottle of water he has to his lips and drinking deeply. I’m not ashamed to say I stare at how his Adam’s apple bobs with every swallow. It’s sexy. I want to drag my tongue over his throat, then bury my tongue in his mouth.
I shake that thought away. He turned me down and he’s straight. Straight, straight, straight. Though, I did tell myself I would try anyway.
Rax continues to stare at me and I raise an eyebrow as I pull a bottle of water towards me. “What?”
“I asked you a question.”
Forgot about that. I take a sip of my water to give myself some time to get over the embarrassment. Rax is honest, so I will be too.
“I was thinking about some animal I see out the windows seeing me and wanting to take a bite out of my ass.” I chuckle uncomfortably, but it stops rather quickly when I see how Rax’s eyes rake over my body.
Before I can ask what that means, he says, “Well, I think we’re safe. There are sometimes deer and mountain lions, but they’ll stay away, I’m sure. I haven’t seen one yet and I go running every morning.”
My eyebrows fly up. “Running?”
He nods. “Yeah. I’m used to getting exercise in the yard. I still want to keep in shape, even if I never go back to prison, so I go for a run almost to the end of the street and back. You never hear me leaving or coming back in?”
I shake my head. “No. Even though I don’t sleep heavily because …” I let my voice trail off, since I’m sure he knows it’s because I’m here as a captive. “But no, I don’t hear you. Do you sneak out?” He gives me a sideways grin that I can see through his beard, then it hits me why I can see it. “You shaved.”
His hands automatically go up to his face. “I trimmed it down, yeah. I was starting to look a little shaggy. Figured I’d be a little less noticeable.”
Even though I like the shaggy beard, he looks fucking good with more of his face showing like this. Zeke must have brought him a set of clippers, since he still has a good amount of hair on his face, but not as much as before.
I grin and tap my neck. “You’d have to get rid of that before that happens.” His face flushes red. “I like it. It looks … good. Looks good.” I shake my head at his obvious confusion. “I’m sorry. I’m just … trying to make … I don’t know.”
“Are you flirting with me?” Rax asks, almost incredulously.
I dip my head and feel my cheeks flush. Am I flirting? Or was I just making conversation? Is that even a good idea? God, I’m so confused. I don’t know if I should go with my plan to try to get him in my pants or try to be as standoffish with him as possible.
