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I’m not sure how long we stand there, kissing and touching. We only break apart because something scurries nearby. Finn jumps about a foot in the air when he snatches his mouth from mine. He looks around in fear but smiles when he sees the gray rabbit hopping away.
“Let’s keep going. I’m not ready to go inside just yet.”
We walk for about twenty more minutes in silence, but it’s very comfortable. On the way back, Finn reaches for my hand and threads his fingers through. I start to snatch my hand away, but when I think about it, I like how his small, soft hand feels in my larger one. It almost feels natural.
Like an excited child, Finn swings our hands, snickering when I give him a dry look. I don’t stop him though. He looks so happy and I don’t want to burst that bubble.
When we get within view of the house, I hear the smile in Finn’s voice when he says, “I’ll never get over how breathtaking this overly large cabin is.” I look at him to see him covering his mouth to stifle a giggle. “Is that normal language for someone my age? Breathtaking?” He laughs loudly and I grin.
“I sure as shit don’t say it, but I don’t think it has anything to do with age.”
By the time we get inside, even though the morning air was cool, we’re both sweating. I smile, thinking that I can get in the shower with Finn and feel his soft hands on my cock and balls again. Maybe even those plush lips.
Finn stops that thought in its tracks. “Can I shower in my own bathroom? I just … I can’t see you naked without wanting to get on my knees and those tiles won’t feel good when I’m done.”
Even though I’m a little skeptical, I nod, watching him dash upstairs.
Something tells me it’s not just him wanting to take a shower on his own, there’s something else. I can’t put a finger on why I feel that way though.
Following his lead, I start towards my bathroom, but stop to make sure Finn is in the shower. When I hear the water running and him humming one of his favorite tunes, I go to take my own shower. There’s nothing to worry about.
Trusting someone outside of my club family is new, but there’s no need to not take them at their word. My life has me jaded. Finn has been nothing but upfront and honest, so I can at least take him at his word if he takes me at mine.
The water is warm, cooling my hot skin. I duck my head under the water, smiling at our routine. Finn has been brushing the knots from my hair every time we finish our shower and I love that little semblance of what he calls us dating. If this is what dating is, I wouldn’t mind having it with Finn.
My hands pause shampooing my hair and I think about that. Never have I thought about wanting to date someone. Nothing long term. I’ve never wanted an old lady. To me, they’re just liabilities, capable of bringing you to your knees and leaving you up shit's creek without a paddle. I get the feeling that Finn isn’t like that.
God, is this something I want or is it our isolation that makes me think about wanting more? Maybe a little of both. I’m not sure how close I would have gotten to Finn if we weren’t forced to be alone in this house. I can’t say how I would have felt if I met him on the outside, since he ensnared me the first time I laid eyes on him, but I don’t think I would have thought about being in a relationship.
Not wanting to think too much about it, since no relationship will ever happen, I finish washing my hair, then grab a cloth to wash my body.
With that done, I climb out of the shower and wrap a towel around my waist. My door is open as I make my way over to the dresser where my clothes are, so I don’t miss Finn walking past my room, on his way downstairs. I raise an eyebrow, wondering where he’s coming from, since there’s only an attic that way.
“Hey,” I call to him, poking my head out into the hallway. He jumps and turns around, wringing his hands in front of him. “Where were you coming from?”
“Umm, over there.” He points vaguely in the direction of the attic. When I turn around, he doesn’t look guilty in a bad way, but guilty, nonetheless. “I’ll see you downstairs.”
He hustles off and I can’t catch him in time. Hurrying to put clothes on, I have one arm in my shirt and my shorts hanging halfway off my ass as I walk down the stairs. Finn is sitting on the couch, legs tucked under him with my brush in his hand. He smiles and I’m almost disarmed. Then I remember how I feel about relationships having the power to end you.
Kneeling in front of him, I wrap a hand around his throat and pull him to me. “What were you doing?”
Surprising me, Finn moans, eyes fluttering shut for a moment. When he opens them, his pupils are blown and he looks turned on. My hand falters and I find myself caressing his throat rather than trying to threaten him.
Swallowing roughly so I feel it against my palm, Finn says, “Let me brush your hair. Then I’ll show you.” I raise a skeptical eyebrow and see a brief flash of hurt cross Finn’s face. “Trust me,” he whispers.
Sighing, since it could be a bad idea to blindly trust, I nod and let him go. Finn leans towards me, whimpering when I move my hand.
Clearing his throat and righting himself, Finn pats the space in front of him and starts to brush my hair. What is he up to?
Chapter 15
Finn
It’s a gamble, keeping something from Rax, but it’ll be worth it. I can see in his eyes he has a problem trusting me. It hurts, but I understand. From what little I know about him, he’s had a hard life, full of violence and pain. But I want to know more.
Last night, before we fell asleep, I wanted to keep him awake, peppering him with questions so I can get to know who he is under all this anger, violence, and murder. There has to be something good. I know it. How he is with Zeke and Prez, I can tell there is something else under that prickly exterior.
Hopefully, what I have set up for him helps me get some insight.
