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As I pull back, he touches his cheek, his studious gaze lingering on me. He smiles and bids me farewell.
I marvel over the gift basket for a while, but it’s not long until the now familiar feelings of sadness return to me.
Despite the kindness of his gestures with the presents and the excursion to the gardens, I remember that they’re only special treats.
There is no amount of bribes – because let’s be honest, that’s what they are – that can make this kind of life worth it. Only one thing exists that could change it all for me, but I know it’s nearly impossible. I glance out the window towards the south where Lodra lies.
I spend the daylight hours indulging in the gift basket, enjoying some treats, and lighting a candle by the bedside. The aroma of rirzed induces me into a nap that passes the day until Selliss eventually returns for our evening meal.
I wake to the clanging of cutlery, peering as he sets the table. He smiles as warmly as the flame on the candle.
“Did you have a good rest?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I answer, sitting up as I rub my eyes.
I change out of my clothes into a set of satin pajamas he has brought for me before joining him. The rejuvenating day has restored my appetite, and so I indulge heavily in our meal of roasted taura and burgona.
“How was work?” I ask him.
“Fine, how about you? You must have been glad to have gotten a break from here.”
“I actually had the best day I’ve had since arriving here in Yadat. Thank you for that, Selliss. It really meant a lot to me.”
He smiles for a brief moment, but it changes to a frown as he peers down at his meal.
“Is something wrong?”
“Hmm?” he mutters. “Oh, no, it’s just that… Well, it’s just that you shouldn’t expect to get used to it. We’ll be heading off to Lodra soon.”
He casts a weird look my way as if he has just dropped bad news, but I grow excited at the prospect of traveling to Lodra with him.
“I look forward to that then,” I admit. “It sounds like a lovely place, and I’d be honored to accompany you there.”
A part of me wants to hope that he’s taking me there so that we can be together, properly, the way we never could be here. But I mentally push the thought aside. You can’t read too much into it. Don’t be stupid. You’re just a plaything to him, and you’d better not forget it.
15
SELLISS
My day starts off with some basic combat training. At this point in my career, I’ve perfected my technique, allowing me to move fluidly through the motions with ease.
My quick motions and display of skill with a weapon garners a lot of attention from fellow soldiers. While I cannot deny that it feels rewarding to have so many admirers, gone is the usual ferocity that I initially showed off when I first arrived in Yadat.
No one else seems to notice, but I just can’t seem to muster the strength I once had. I now realize I am unworthy of all this praise coming my way.
“I can’t wait to see this guy slaughtering those traitors in Lodra!” I hear someone say.
I know the reason for my dismay, despite my remarkable performance. With each swing of my sword, I recall just what it is that I am fighting to destroy. A happy future in Lodra for Maya.
My vision of her finally achieving happiness is slowly beginning to blur, and the voice of guilt becomes louder with each cheer thrown my way.
As I wrap up my training, a messenger informs me of King Kriseri’s wishes to meet.
Must be about the plans for Lodra.
I freshen up for my meeting, thinking of the men I have stationed at Lodra’s outskirts. With each passing day, their hunger for spilling blood grows more and more. The only thing that would satisfy them is Prince Zalith’s head on a spike.
I have received word of how tense the situation is at the border, with both the guards and the citizens stirring up a discourse about looming war.
