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“I didn’t think you were,” he interrupted. “But here’s the deal. Riggs and I are partners, and I made a promise to him that if he retired and became a rancher, I’d go inactive and learn to cowboy. I can’t break that promise.”
“Nor would I ask you to,” she quickly pointed out. “I’ve been thinking about it all day, and I may do the same. Transfer to reserves.”
“How long will that take?”
“Hopefully as long as the leave time I have built up. I’ll report in on Monday and meet with the brass to see what I can make happen.”
“And if you can’t make it happen now, what about them?” he indicated the pups.
She shrugged. “I don’t want to have to mentally cross that bridge right now. Besides, the only problem I have is being able to get started with the pups. So, if I take all my leave now and start the training, maybe I can work something out if the transfer doesn’t happen before my leave is up. I don’t know what else to do.”
“It sounds like a plan to me.”
“Except for me having no place to stay and work with the pups, Sanctuary hasn’t even come up with plans, so it’s out and I’m sure the Walkers don’t want wolves on their ranch.”
“Wolf pups,” he corrected. “And you can always ask.”
She nodded and was silent for a few moments. After looking into the fire for a minute, she faced him. “This is happening so fast. Is it too fast? Am I about to take a leap without checking to make sure there’s water in the pool? I don’t want to screw up my commission or my life, but…”
Oakley shook her head and then lowered it to stare at the fire again. “Why am I afraid? I don’t do fear, and yet here I am, damn near terrified. What the hell, Gun? What’s wrong with me?”
“Nothing.” He reached over and took her hand. “You’re being offered what you want, and you’re scared it’s not real.”
She turned her head so abruptly, it shocked him. “What makes you say that?”
“It’s how I would feel, and I think maybe you're like me. You’ve had some hard knocks, made some mistakes, and done some losing. The military saved you and gave you purpose. It gave you back love, and don’t give me that eat shit and die, look. Itt has no power here. Andit tells me I’m right. The military is home for you, and the dogs are your family, your children. You love them, without reservation. If you walk away, what happens to them? What happens to you? Will it be a mistake?”
When she looked at him, blinking back tears, it touched something inside him. “How can you know so much about me when we’ve only known one another a few weeks?”
“Because we’re cut from similar cloths, I think. We’re scared to trust that life might steer good things our way.”
She nodded. “I’m not sure I deserve it.”
“Why?” he asked.
“You first.”
Gunner shook his head. “I’m not ready to dig up that grave.”
“Nor am I,” she admitted. “But at least I don’t feel like I’m the only one fighting this demon.”
“Nope, there’re a lot of folks fighting that war.”
“You think we can win?”
“I think we can try.”
Oakley gave him a quick smile. “Maybe. It’d be nice. And I’ll definitely think about it. But for now, I think I just want to put these boys to bed and get clean.”
“That sounds good to me.”
“Gunner, I’m sorry. I’ve monopolized your time ever since you finished today. Why don’t you head in and I’ll clean up things here and get the pups settled for the night.”
“I’ve been dirty before. I can help. Besides, I’m enjoying the company.”
“Thanks,” she gave him a smile as she stood and offered him a hand. “So am I.”
He took it, and she gripped tight and tugged. Gunner smiled and let her pull him to his feet. Once standing, he then stepped in close, looking down at her. There was an expression on her face he’d seen before, one that struck a chord inside him. “Don’t give a man that look if you don’t mean it, hot stuff.”
