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“Home.” Gunner said, and then looked at her. “It’s been a long time since I had one of those.”
“Me too, but you have one now if you want it.”
“You mean the who, not the where?”
“I do.”
“I want it.”
“Do you?”
“More than anything.”
“I love you, Gunner.”
He could tell she was as surprised she’d spoken the words, as he was to hear them. He also watched an expression of uncertainty take shape on her face. He got it. If it were him, he’d be wondering. Was it too soon for such words?
Gunner responded with honesty. “I didn’t know if I’d ever hear you say that.”
“And now that you have?”
“Now I’ll want to hear it all the time.”
“Don’t tease. I need to know where I stand with you, and while I hadn’t planned on this being the moment for figuring that out, I guess it is. So?”
Gunner forced back his own nervousness. It’d been a long time since he spoke the words he intended to say, and an old fear surfaced. That fear that if he admitted his feelings, life would take from him what he wanted in recompense for past mistakes.
But he couldn’t leave her hanging, and he wanted to beat that fear. So he manned up and made sure to look into her eyes when he spoke, so that she could see he spoke the truth. “I love you, Oakley. If you’ll be mine, I promise I’ll always be yours.” He gestured toward the wolves. “And theirs. I’ll protect you all with my life.”
“There you go again, being my hero.” Oakley smiled and looped her arms around his neck. “And just so you know, you had me at hello.”
“Then I am the luckiest man alive.” He kissed her, and in that kiss, he felt a promise. For the first time since he was tossed into hell, he thought he just might have a shot at happiness after all.
Now, he drove away, watching her in the mirror as she stood there, waving with the wolves flanking her on either side. It was a sight he hoped to see again soon, only next time it would be her welcoming him home.
If he was lucky.
*****
Oakley felt it settled on her, a weight that wasn’t there before. It happened as soon as Gunner’s truck disappeared from view. “Come on,” she said to the wolves. “Let’s walk.”
She had no destination or purpose, just a need to move, as if the increase in heart rate and blood flow would speed her attempts to dispel the gloom trying to suffocate her. It’d been so long since she allowed emotion to take a seat at the table, she was scared to trust it—her own feelings as well as his.
Oakley snorted in derision, and the wolves looked up at her with a question on their faces. “Sorry, it just doesn’t make sense. I understand how to deal with fear, uncertainty, finding my way in unfamiliar territory, and generally depending on myself. This—this thing with Gunner, it’s…”
She didn’t even know how to finish the sentence. What was it? Was she not sure they were a match? Uncertain if she really loved him or not trusting thathe felt that way about her? Was she scared he wouldn’t return or scared she wouldn’t want him to? Why were her emotions so mixed up?
Nashoba bumped his shoulder against her thigh, and she stopped to look at him. “Do you want to load all of them up and run away with them when you see them heading out on deployment?”
Oakley turned at the sound of the voice, shocked that neither wolf reached to the presence of another. They were as calm as if the woman coming toward them was family. Sadie smiled, walked over, rubbed both of the wolves on the neck, then smiled at Oakley.
“You look like a woman with problems.”
“Not a problem so much as…” Oakley wasn’t sure how to put it all into words. Her world felt off-kilter right now.
“Let me guess,” Sadie filled the silence when Oakley’s sentence trailed off. “You walked away from a career that could have seen you making General one day. You almost threw in with people who think your idea of an army of wolves is brilliant, and now you wonder why in the world you did any of that, because it sure as heck isn’t the life your wolves would choose.”
How odd that a sense of relief washed through her. She was glad someone saw it for what it was. It helped her see it clearer, and it solidified her resolve to see her new plan through. “I’m still going to help them,” she gestured toward Ba’Cho and Nashoba.
