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“Aww no. She’s grieving hard and secluding herself from people?”
“No. She’s talking to who she wants to talk to.”
The line went quiet for a moment, then Ms. May asked, “She’s not talking to y’all?”
“Not really. She talks to Marie, but that’s about it.”
“Oh my goodness. Well, did she allow your dad’s other daughter to attend the funeral?”
I rolled my eyes hard, and I could feel myself getting angry. I hadn’t even gotten in the house yet when I called her. This shit was back again. Now I would have to relive this shit all over again, because I refused to allow her to keep smearing shit on my daddy’s name. “What daughter?”
“Umm… your mom said he had an outside kid with a woman at Antioch. She ought to be around eighteen years old now.”
“She’s a liar.”
“What?”
“My daddy didn’t have any outside kids. She’s a liar. If it were true, she would have been sure to tell us, because she couldn’t stand that we were closer to him than her.”
“Oh my God. Why would she lie about that?”
“She lies about everything. Anyone that can lie about having cancer is a sick individual.”
“Who had cancer? She told me your dad had cancer, but he overcame.”
“He did. He had colon cancer, but they did a partial colectomy, removing lymph nodes as well. He did a round of chemo, but his heart couldn’t take it. However, he was cleared of cancer because they caught it early. She was telling people thatshehad cancer and was going through chemo. She lied about that twice.”
“My friend needs help.”
I was totally surprised that she was actually listening to me. After I started spilling tea, most people were in a hurry to get off the phone. Either she sincerely cared, or she was being messy. I didn’t care. I refused to stifle my voice when it came to my mama. I was sick of her lies. “She really does, Ms. May, but she has to admit that she has a problem in order to get help.”
“You’re right about that.”
“People always say, ‘you only got one mama’, but guess what? She only has one Yendi. If she’s destroying my peace, then I have to distance myself. I told her not to call me unless she was ready to have an honest conversation of her accepting responsibility for all the drama she started. That was before Dad died.”
“Wow. I’m just shocked. This is unbelievable.”
“We were shocked by her behavior as well.”
“Baby, I’m so sorry. Lock my number in. I’m saving yours now. I’m going to be praying for her, that she can get herself together.”
“Yes, ma’am. Me too.”
“You take care of yourself, and I’ll be checking on you.”
“Okay. Love you.”
“Love you too, baby. And I’m so sorry about your daddy.”
“Thank you.”
I ended the call and sat in my car in my thoughts. I slowly shook my head, knowing that I would have to eventually confront her ass. She used to always talk about God and raised us in church, making us memorize scriptures. But now, she hadn’t been to church in years, and had turned into the devil himself. Maybe she’d been the devil all along. The devil went to church too and knew the scripture as well. She’d convinced people that she was an innocent lamb, but she was definitely a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
I made my way inside and immediately dropped all my shit on the floor. My mood was fucked. I went to the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of Hennessy and poured a glass. Rehashing this shit was getting old. I wanted to let it go, but my mind wouldn’t seem to allow me to. People always said to just let people spew negativity and lies about you. That you didn’t have to tell your side. That shit was easier said than done.
I wasn’t volunteering my side of what happened, which was the truth, but when people asked questions, I always gave them the real. Just hearing my mother’s name or just hearing people ask how she was doing, put a bad taste in my mouth. Knowing that myownmother was spewing lies about me and had been doing some extremely hateful things to my siblings and me was hard to just accept and let go.
I was filled with malice and hatred for her. Hating her wouldn’t do a thing for me, but yet here I was, in this space… a space I’d never been in before. While it had only been a few months, I needed these feelings to leave me. They were tearing me down and making me more sensitive with people I shouldn’t be that way with. My feelings were always on my sleeve, and the ones that were still inside, Jakari had pulled them out of me.
