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Jesus.I didn’t even know how my thoughts about my mother led to him, but it seemed that was the way it had been since I met him. My every thought ended up finding its way to him. I didn’t even know him well enough to miss him, yet I missed him like crazy. Maybe I missed what I thought could have been. After the other night, I thought we could possibly have something special.Wishful thinking.
I grabbed my glass of Hennessy, choosing not to add anything to it and just gulped that shit. I tried not to drink the hard stuff during the week, but there was no way a glass of wine would suffice. Dropping the glass in the sink, I went back toward the door and picked up my stuff and headed to my bedroom. Once inside, I dropped my things to the floor again and went to start a bath.
As my water ran, I checked my email to see one from Maui. I took a deep breath and opened it to see what she needed.
Hi, Ms. Odom. Did you forget that Ashanni and I were coming today? I could tell you seemed a little distracted today. Although I’m only fifteen, I’m a good listener if you want to talk. Maybe we can stay after school Thursday. We practice on Wednesdays.
I huffed loudly. “Fuck!” I said aloud.
I completely forgot the girls would be coming after school today. After hitting reply to her email, I typed out,I’m so sorry, Maui. I completely forgot. I am a little distracted, and I appreciate you offering a listening ear. I can handle it though. I’ll see you and Ashanni on Thursday. We need to discuss the prizes and exactly who’s supposed to pay for them. LOL
I hit send and smiled slightly. There was no way I would catch myself telling all my business to a fifteen-year-old. I didn’t want to tell mostadultsmy business let alone a kid. No matter how mature she seemed, this tea was nowhere near appropriate to share with a kid.
After getting a night gown, I made my way back to the bathroom and disrobed. I stepped in the tub, and just as I was about to sink in the hot water, there was a knock at my door. I frowned. It could only be one person. I hadn’t made friends here yet… at least not any that would pop up at my place. I quickly grabbed my robe from the hook on the door, leaving wet footprints all over the floor.
When I reached the door and looked through the peephole, I nearly came on myself. Jakari was standing there. He wasn’t looking straight forward. All I could see was his diamond stud in his ear and the waves and curls in his naturally gorgeous hair and beard. I took a deep breath then unlocked the door and opened it.
When his eyes met mine, I felt a shiver go up my spine. His eyes dipped to what I was wearing, which was practically nothing. “Umm… come in.”
I stepped to the side as he walked through the door. Him being here had me soft as hell. I could see in his eyes that something was wrong. After closing the door, I turned to see he had sat on the couch, so I made my way to him.
“I’m sorry for interrupting your evening. I won’t be long.”
“You aren’t interrupting much of anything. I was just about to soak and then go to bed early.”
I was dying to tell him how much I missed him. Since he was here, I was hoping he would offer some sort of explanation about what was going on with him. Once I sat, he turned to me and said, “I can’t see you anymore.”
That shit felt like a bullet to the chest. I nodded quietly, then asked, “Why? I mean, I thought this was just casual.”
He could have just continued to ghost me. I would have eventually gotten the hint, but him coming here to tell me just solidified his position. “I have a lot of shit going on right now. I’m way too sensitive with you. I don’t want to lead you on in any way. I’m not ready for anything more than fucking, and honestly, I probably can’t even handle that shit right now. Not with you. I don’t know what it is, but being with you exposes all my nerves… fuckups… insecurities.”
I grabbed his hand and felt the heat between us. “Jakari, you feel that? I don’t want to let it go. I know you said we were just fucking, but you made love to me. I can’t shake that shit. You being here to tell me that you can’t see me anymore proves that you feel the same way I do. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have felt the need to explain anything to me. Let me be here for you… whatever it is you’re going through.”
“Why though? You don’t even know me.”
“I don’t know. I can’t explain why I feel the way I do, but in my spirit, I feel like you need me as much as I need you. Don’t push me away.”
I kissed his hand as he stared at me. I could see the torment in his saddened eyes. He pulled his hand away from mine and stood from the couch, heading to the door. I quickly stood and practically ran after him. “Jakari, wait—”
He spun around and crashed his lips into mine, kissing me like it would be the last time. He tried to pull away, but I slid my arms around him, keeping him close. He didn’t fight against me. Instead, he untied my robe, revealing my nakedness beneath it then lifted me and walked to my bedroom.
I stared into his eyes the entire time and surprisingly his gaze didn’t waver. He lowered me to my bed and spread my legs. “Jakari, I haven’t bathed since last night. I was about to take—”
All talking ceased when he practically dove in my pussy tongue first. My eyes rolled to the back of my head, but my mind was screaming.Is this a goodbye or the start of something special?I wanted to just be able to go with the flow and enjoy the moment, but the voice in my head wouldn’t rest. As if sensing my inner voice, he lifted his head, my juices damn near dripping from his beard.
“I don’t know what this is between us. You said you would be here… That’s not fair to you. I got some deep issues I need to get a handle on. You telling me you would be okay with a piece of my love whenever I decided to give it? You good with giving me that much power over you?”
“Jakari, it’s not you having power over me, but it’s about me putting power back into you. There’s a tinge of insecurity in you. I need you to know that you are enough. You’re more than enough, and you’re worthy of everything I have to offer, especially my patience. You’re chosen for beautiful things, even in your brokenness. I got caught up the first time I saw you. Your desires I’m here to fulfill. This level of submission is new to me. I’m not asking for you to force anything with me, but Iamasking for you to allow me to be around. You’re more than a dream come true, Jakari.”
He groaned as he nearly sucked my pussy right off my body. His fingertips dug into my flesh as he devoured every part of me. My heart was wide open, and I didn’t know why. Was it because he put that demon dick on me? I didn’t have a clue, but time would definitely tell. My words had moved him. The way his tongue began slowly stroking me, lapping up as much of my goodness as he could, I could only relax in what I felt was right.
What was right? Being his rock, his peace, his confidant. I wanted to be whatever he needed me to be. It was like God used those girls to bring us together. I wasn’t sure what His purpose was for us, but I could only hope Him bringing us together would be permanent.
He lifted his head again and stared into my eyes. “You’re so beautiful, Yendi. Inside and out. I want you to be mine, but I know I’m not ready. If you’re telling me you want to be here anyway, waiting for me to get my shit together, then I’ll let you be. I just hope I can handle that though. I don’t want to feel like I’m using you.”
I sat up and pulled him to me by placing my hands on each side of his face. “Use me. Just don’t discard me. I want to be with you. Although you’re in turmoil, I feel a sense of peace when I’m around you. It could be that I’m just lonely. In that case, I suppose we’d be using each other.”
I kissed his lips, and he began slowly sucking my bottom one. When he pulled away, he said, “I didn’t bring any condoms. It wasn’t my intent to be with you like this. So let me please you, baby. Let me finish sucking the fuck out this sweet pussy.”
