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My eyebrows lifted. He looked up at me, and said, “That was my exact reaction. She had to have a fucking fake ID to get in that club. She was sixteen years old, Yendi. I’d almost fucked a kid.”
He dry-heaved. Knowing what his father was in prison for, I could understand why that shit affected him as much as it did and for this long. “I went through a period of thinking I was just a chip off the old block. Avery was the last person I wanted to be like after I found out he was a pedophile. My attraction to that little girl made me feel like I was just like him. Christian kept telling me that there was no way I could have known she was a minor. She shouldn’t have even been in that club.”
“God, baby. I know that had to be hard for you.”
“It was. I talked to Uncle Jasper that night. He’d seen how she was looking at me and how I had looked at her. I was disgusted with myself. I literally had to go to the restroom and throw up. Thinking I could have slept with that lil girl made me so critical and extra careful around women. I swore off relationships, because women couldn’t be trusted. The only women I trusted were the ones in my family.”
I rubbed his hand between mine and asked, “Am I your first relationship since then?”
“Yeah. My only real relationship since my second year in college… since I was nineteen or twenty. I have some real issues to deal with because that shit bothers me. Plus, I found out earlier today that Avery got paroled. So he’s out. I’m not sure where he is, but I’m hoping I don’t ever have to see him.”
“Have you thought about going to counseling?”
“I have. I was supposed to go to this lady named Serita Gardener, but I never made it to the appointment. She’s who my mom and brothers went to, along with my Aunt Syn. Avery raped his adopted sister for years and Nesha as well. It’s why I’m so protective of the two of them. Nesha seems to be okay with him. She’s resolved her issues, but she works for the state and has a social work degree. She knew what she needed to do for herself.”
He took a deep breath and shifted the SUV back to drive and drove away, getting back to Highway 90. “Aunt Syn isn’t taking the news too well. He started messing with her when she was four years old. It didn’t stop until she left for college. However, she became more sexual because of it, where Nesha was more withdrawn. I took it upon myself to be their protector. Aunt Syn knew I was watching her every move, but Nesha didn’t. I felt like it was partially my fault for not noticing something was wrong, especially with Nesha. I was around her nearly every day, but I just thought it was girl problems.”
He slowly shook his head. What his father did had fucked him up so bad. The situation with the young girl only amplified those issues. Glancing at me as we neared St. Elizabeth Hospital, he said, “Something about you is wanting me to say fuck all that. But my nature is to be protective of my heart. I’ve been that way for over twelve years now. Just that the mere sight of you makes me wanna do away with all that is worth exploring. I just hope I’m as ready as I think I am.”
We’d gotten to the hospital, and he parked. Before getting out, I said, “If we are at this point, you’re ready. You took me to your house to clean up a bit. You’d refused to do that before. You let me in, and I promise I will never make you feel regret. I have your back. Period. Like you, I don’t know why I’m so drawn to you. I mean, you’re handsome and all, but beyond the surface, I barely knew you. I feel like I know you well now though.”
“What’chu mean I’m handsome and all? Girl, you know I’m a fucking Greek God in these streets. That body was saying I was on the verge of making the holy trinity a quartet earlier. Don’t be minimizing my shit.”
I burst into laughter as he smiled and got out of the vehicle. That was his way of deflecting. When he was done with a subject, that was what he did. I’d picked up on that a while ago. Just the fact that he was giving us a chance had me happy as hell. After opening my door, he helped me out of his SUV. He kept my hand in his as he closed the door then turned to me.
“I feel like you are the woman for me. The one that will help me through some shit. I’m just praying that my mind doesn’t override my heart. I hope that I can keep my anger and hurt in check while I’m around you. I don’t ever want to project that shit onto you. You don’t deserve that shit.”
“Stop worrying so much. I’m here, Jakari… through the good and the bad.”
“What about the ugly?”
I smiled at him. “That shit too. You got me. I can feel your heart.” I closed my eyes as I laid my hand on his chest. “That shit is pure. It doesn’t know what it means to be in love or to love a woman beyond yourself. I’m glad to be the first that will get to experience that part of you. Now let’s go check on Nesha.”
CHAPTER11
JAKARI
“He is going to be tall like his damn daddy,” I said as Uncle Storm gave Lennox a cigar.
“And his uncle mayor.”
I could have done without his shenanigans today. Yendi and I had been here for five hours when Nesha finally started pushing. The baby was nearly eight pounds and twenty-three inches long. I stared at him as I held him. This shit was dangerous, because I was standing here wishing I had shot the club up earlier. Yendi was perfect. While I knew she had issues to overcome with her family, she was still here for me and my fucked-up way of thinking.
As I handed Baylor back to Nesha, Decaurey and Tyeis walked in. They both wore frowns, and I knew some shit was about to pop off. Either they were arguing or something had happened that pissed both of them off. Tyeis’s emotions had been everywhere, and Decaurey said they’d been arguing quite a bit lately. I slapped his hand and asked, “What’s up?”
“That muthafucka is contesting paternity. She ain’t been with that nigga in almost a year. He just tryna fuck with us.”
“Tyrese?”
“Hell yeah. He called while we were on our way here.”
“You know the ball is in your court, man. Whatever you wanna do about it, we got yo’ back. If he was up to anything more, Ali would have called. Plus, Philly about to start working with them on the side.”
“I’ll let you know. It’s like that nigga know Tyeis and I have been arguing lately. That shit had me questioning whether she was telling me the truth about when they last slept together. She said she hadn’t been with him since she’d been with me.”
“What do you feel?”
“Honestly, I feel like she’s lying. I think she’s scared to tell me the truth. If the babies aren’t mine, this gon’ be it for us. I’m not even exaggerating. It won’t be because she was with him, because after the club incident, we weren’t even a couple. It’ll be because she didn’t think I needed the truth. I don’t want y’all to do nothing to that nigga yet, because of how I feel about what she’s saying. If they are my babies, then I’ll worry about that nigga then.”
