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His eyebrows lifted and scrunched together in a sympathetic type of way. I could imagine that I wasn’t invited anymore. I didn’t want to be there without Jakari anyway. I made my way out of the room, and when I saw an employee for the arena, I asked for directions. As I walked in the way I was directed to go, my phone chimed. I looked at it to see a message from Janay.
Your mama pulled that shit with me, and I answered and cursed her ass out. How dare she play with our emotions? Just because she wasn’t as hurt about Daddy’s death doesn’t mean we aren’t. Although I hated to do it, I blocked Daddy’s number.
The tears slid down my face. I couldn’t handle dealing with that right now. The only person I wanted to think about was Jakari. He was the man I loved, and I knew that he wasn’t in a good place mentally. His well-being was the only thing I was concerned with right now. I told him I would be with him through this, and I truly planned to if he let me.
* * *
Jasper openedthe door of his Escalade for me, and I slid into the plush seating. It had cooled off outside, and I was freezing since my legs were exposed. I’d worn a somewhat long-sleeved all-in-one with heels, since I knew we’d be in the box. I said somewhat because the sleeves had slits in them to where my arms could be seen. The legs of it were made the same way. I had my hair pulled up and had added a ponytail to it. So I didn’t even have a wig on to keep my head warm.
When he got into the truck, he reached over and grabbed my hand, giving it a squeeze then took off. As he drove, I stared at my phone, looking at the text message I sent Jakari.
Baby, I’m not angry. Please call or text me and let me know you’re okay. Please… I love you, and I’m worried about you. I didn’t hang around to even talk to your dad and that woman. If you have an issue with them, then so do I. I’m here for you. Please don’t shut me out, baby.
As I read it repeatedly, the tears slid down my face. Thankfully I had great skin because I’d long ago cried my makeup off my face. What the tears didn’t eliminate, I’d wiped off when I cleaned my face in the restroom. It was like I could feel how hurt and angry he was. The two people he had the most issues with were together, overwhelming his mind and sending his heart into an emotional cardiac arrest.
I was standing there with the paddles though, ready to shock him back to life with my love, only to be ignored. When I yelled his name, I just knew he would snap out of it and realize what was more important, but he didn’t. That shit hurt so bad. Breaking the silence, Jasper said, “So you got to meet Noah, huh? I saw y’all on TV during the first half.”
“Yeah. Him and his wife. I love both their music. She even sang for me. God, it felt like I’d stepped through the gates of heaven and was listening to a chorus of angels. Nearly brought me to tears.”
“I know what you mean. Listening to her recorded vocals does that to me, especially when I’m high. So I can only imagine what it sounds like in person.”
I bit my lip, trying to contain my smile. “You listen to her while you’re high?”
“Maaaaann, I swore I was sitting at the feet of Jesus. I had to put my blunt out and apologize to the Lord for giving him a contact high.”
I could no longer suppress my laughter. I hollered. Jasper was funny as hell. This was where Jakari got his sense of humor. The mayor was funny too, just in a cynical sort of way. Jasper was a fun, laidback funny. “You are a mess! I can’t wit’chu!”
“Girl, you better start dropping by on Fridays and get in the Lord’s presence with me. You’ll never be the same.”
I laughed more, and he chuckled with me. “Jakari has a great support system. I just wish he would use it.”
“Yeah. Our last talk went well. So I thought he was good. I suppose hewasgood at the time. What happened?”
I lowered my head, trying to figure out if I wanted to say since Jakari hadn’t told him. “He uhh… he saw his dad at the game.”
“Ooooh shit. Yeah. Had I been there, we would have gone to jail tonight. I wouldn’t have been any help at all. We would have fucked his ass up. How was he at a game?”
“That was the same thing Jakari asked him. It gets worse Jasper. The girl from ten years ago was with his dad.”
“The fuck? Oh, my boy did good by not fucking that nigga up. Not saying it was good he left you, but shit. Had he taken you with him, I would have given his ass an A plus. That girl gotta be younger than his youngest son. Rylan is twenty-seven I think.”
“He said his dad had to be nearly thirty years older than her and that he hadn’t changed and should still be locked up.”
“Damn. I hate he turned his phone off. It’s going straight to voicemail. I said a special prayer for him while I was at the feet of Jesus before I left.”
My eyebrows lifted. “You’re high right now?”
He chuckled. “I was flying like sheets in the wind on a clothesline on my way here, but I’m coming down now. Girl, you in more danger when I’m sober. I’m relaxed right now and don’t give a fuck what the rest of these people doing on the road. You gotta be high to drive in Houston anyway so you don’t have a fucking aneurism yelling at these no-driving fuckers.”
I swore I could get used to Jasper’s ass. Just thinking about how Jakari was pushing me away and about to take the only family I had now away from me, produced tears all over again. “Whoa, did I say something wrong?”
I shook my head rapidly. “You just feel like family. If Jakari pushes me away, I’m gonna lose the only sense of family I have. My dad died months ago, and my mother is a fucking mess, so I had to block her. I moved here to get away from her. So it feels like both my parents died. Y’all have filled a void in my life and knowing I may lose that already is heartbreaking.”
“Listen to me, Yendi. It don’t matter what happens between you and J. We gon’ still be cool. But… I believe y’all gon’ work it out. You seem to be so understanding of his turmoil and from what you just told me, I can see why. He’s going to talk to me in his time. Knowing him like I do, he’s probably overthinking shit. Thinking you deserve better than him and what he can give and all that bullshit. He’s been like that since he was a kid… always so hard on himself.”
“Jasper, I’m trying to be optimistic, but I don’t feel good about this. After he’d given me all of him, I know he’s embarrassed about this. He said he would never intentionally hurt me. He glanced at me and walked out on me anyway. He said he loved me. Why would he do this? I told him I was here for the long haul and to help him through all that shit. Did he think I was just saying that because it sounded good to say?”
“J has been the man of his family for a long time. When that shit happened with his daddy, he didn’t show weakness. He was always trying to be strong for everyone else. It nearly killed his mama. She started smoking and drinking a lot after that. She wasn’t a smoker, but she was at my house more often than not, getting fucked up with me. So he felt he needed to be there for her, his brothers, Nesha, and his aunt. He never got to address how what his dad did affected him. He doesn’t feel comfortable being vulnerable. Don’t stop coming around. Show him that you meant what you said.”
