Page 51 of Healing For My Soul


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I couldn’t give up on him like he was giving up on me. He said I deserved better, but I deserved exactly what the fuck I wanted, and I wanted him!Why couldn’t he see that?I knew what was best for me, and Jakari Bolton was the one. There wasn’t another man out there that could handle me the way he did. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was it for me simply because I was acting so out of character.

I didn’t take bullshit from no damn body. However, what Jakari did wasn’t bullshit. What he was going through mentally wasn’t bullshit. He had some real issues he needed to deal with instead of running from them. Until he dealt with them, nothing would change. He’d been this way for a long time, so I knew he needed time to break himself out of his regressive behaviors.

The more time it took, the more it was destroying me though. Tomorrow was Tyeis’s baby shower. Although she’d had the babies two weeks ago, she still needed a lot for them. They were still in the hospital, but according to Uncle Jasper, they would possibly be going home in another two weeks if they kept progressing at the rate they were. They’d already gained twelve ounces. I called him Wednesday to catch up with the family and let him know that things between Jakari and I hadn’t changed. He was still positive that they would with time.

He'd overplayed me calling him Uncle Jasper. I could hear the excitement in his voice, and he’d insisted that my desire to call him uncle meant that Jakari and I would work things out. I surely hoped he was right.

It seemed as if God was putting my words to the test when I told Jakari I would wait for him. Today made a week since he’d left me at the Toyota Center, and it seemed I’d been losing a piece of myself every day since. God intentionally buried him so deeply within my soul. I couldn’t move on even if I wanted to. I knew Jakari didn’t have malicious intent. He thought he was protecting me from him.God, if only I could make him understand.

The girls were looking for books. Their teachers had been gracious enough to give them to me for the entire period. We would be announcing the winners in about the next fifteen minutes. I went to my office and turned on my music. When Summer Walker’s “Broken Promises” came on, it brought tears to my eyes.

“’Cause my heart is breaking. I’ve been mistaken. You’re not the man I thought you were… Said you was ready…”

All of what she said didn’t apply, but some of it was spot on. I went through a moment where I thought he wasn’t the one, and that I was mistaken. I’d confided in Janay about what was going on, and she tried to warn me to protect my heart. Shit, at that point it was too late. My heart was already breaking. I needed Jakari to see that he was only hurting me more by staying away… by leaving me.

“Ms. Odom, you okay?”

I nodded quickly as I wiped my tears. I didn’t realize Maui was even standing there. She came to my desk and gently rubbed my back. “Did my cousin do something?”

“No, baby. Let’s get ready to announce the prizes. I’m tired of waiting.”

She giggled and said, “Me too!” After backing away, she said, “You know, if Jakari did something, I’ll punch him in his Adam’s apple for hurting my favorite adult at HJ.”

I smiled slightly and slid my arm around her shoulder. “Jakari didn’t do a thing. Okay? Thank you for having my back though.”

“Always. You know my party is coming up in three weeks! I can’t wait! My daddy said he had the biggest surprise for me. When Storm Henderson says something like that, you know it’s gonna be big. He doesn’t sell wolf tickets… ever.”

I laughed at this girl. She was too cute. She wasn’t the typical fifteen-year-old. As Ashanni got their list together, I went to the intercom and announced that we would be giving away three prizes and what they all entailed. The third-place prize was a gift card for twenty-five dollars, second place was a kindle fire, and first place was an iPhone 15, donated by Mayor Storm Henderson. Since he’d donated two, we decided to do a wild card.

The wild card was the person who made the most improvement. Also, the grade with the most participating students won a pizza party sponsored by Jasper Henderson. The girls had gotten their parents to really come through for the prizes because had it been all up to me, some of those prizes would have been a hell naw.

As Maui and Ashanni excitedly read off the list of winners, I couldn’t stop my mind from drifting back to Jakari. I bit my bottom lip as I thought about how I’d asked him if he wanted to help us with the program. Maybe I should’ve left well enough alone when he gave me his response, but my nasty ass needed to know more.

When the girls called out the wild card winner, they screamed as if they had won. I swore they sounded like some little chipmunks. The thought of that made me chuckle. Once they were done and the winners arrived in the library, we took pictures. Bryson was a football player, so he was the last to arrive. I assumed the players were in the gym or the fieldhouse already.

Ashanni blushed hard when he spoke to her. Before I could roll my eyes, I saw him grab her hand and kiss it. Was this her boyfriend? There was no way Uncle Jasper knew about this. After they took pictures, I watched them make googly eyes at each other, then she and Maui have a whole fit after he left.

“Wait a minute, now. Is he your boyfriend, Ashanni?”

“No, but I want him to be. He’s been flirting since the first day of school. I’ve flirted back, but he hasn’t even asked for my number yet. Ugh!”

I chuckled, remembering when things were so simple like that for me. When the bell rang, they made their way to the gym, and I locked up my office and made my way there too.

* * *

When the doorbell rang,I was caught totally off guard. I quickly slid on a glue-less wig and straightened my clothes, although I knew Jakari couldn’t care less about all of that. He was the only person that even knew where I lived. It had to be him, finally coming to his senses and realizing that he needed me as much as I needed him. I hurriedly applied some lip gloss on my lips then went to the door and opened it. My heart lept into my throat when I saw my mother standing there.

I frowned and asked, “How do you know where I live?”

“Hello, Yendi. Can I come in?”

My better sense was saying to tell her hell fucking no and slam the door in her face, but my heart was saying to allow her inside and not make a scene for the white folks I lived next to. Maybe she was here to try to make things right. They would never be like they were before as far as I was concerned, but I would sit here and listen, then nicely put her out of my place.

I stepped aside and allowed her to walk inside. She looked around as I closed the door, then followed me to the sitting area. I was sure to sit in the accent chair so she couldn’t sit next to me. If she was that close to me, I could choke the shit out of her easily if she pissed me off. While my senses were telling me that she would indeed piss me off, I wanted to think positively.

She sat on the couch across from me. “You have a nice home. How did you find this place? The area is so small.”

“I researched small school districts in Texas. I had an infatuation with Texas since it was where Daddy was originally from. Plus, the cost of living is less here.”

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