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“I suppose, maybe one day, when the basketball season is over, we’ll have to plan an outing.”
I smiled. “A date, Kenya. We’ll have to plan a date to go rollerblading. Sounds fun.”
She giggled. “Right. A date.”
I was coming on stronger than I anticipated, but I wasn’t the least bit upset about that either.
CHAPTER 6
KENYA
“So, that’s what you think of all the money I spent on flowers? You’re throwing them away?”
“Arik, leave me alone. What you did, flowers can’t make up for that. This was overkill.”
“Just tell me you aren’t totally done with me. I can make up for what I did. I’m so sorry, Kenya. The guilt of it all was weighing heavily on me, baby. I didn’t have to tell you, but knowing I was deceiving you that way was eating me alive. Just please tell me you’ll give us another chance.”
“No! You cheated on me and had the bright idea to tell me by phone, while I was out of town! You stopped spending as much time with me because you said you always had to ‘work’ and go to out-of-town seminars. You had to work alright. You were working on another relationship!”
I dropped the flowers in the dumpster and took off back to my loft, only to see him running behind me. When I got to the door, I hurriedly tried to open it to slip inside, but he pinned me against it. “Why are you running from me?”
“Because I don’t want you in my space! You apparently were sick of being in my space anyway! That’s probably why I hardly ever see you! You should have been in Baltimore with me! Where were you, Arik? Huh?”
“Please, just open the door and maybe we can talk things through. I can answer all the questions you have for me.”
Closing my eyes briefly, the lone tear trickled down my cheek. That only pissed me off more. I didn’t want him to see my pain. I didn’t want him to know how his betrayal had hurt me and had me thinking I wasn’t enough. My self-esteem had taken a hit. While I knew I wouldn’t be in this space always, I didn’t want him to confront me while I was in it, feeling vulnerable.
Despite all of that, I opened the door and allowed him in my space, to simply avoid my neighbors being in my business. When I closed the door, he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind, trying to kiss my neck, as I had a brief moment of weakness. My cries rocked my body. However, he failed to see that my breakdown was more about me than him.
I pulled away from him. “I’m so much better than this. I don’t deserve the bullshit you just put me through! What is it that you think I don’t do for you? Why did you cheat?”
“Kenya, that doesn’t matter. What matters is that I fucked up, and I realize my poor judgment call. I need you in my life.”
“You are full of shit! You’ve probably been full of shit since the very beginning of our relationship!”
He frowned hard as his eyes made their way to the lone bouquet of flowers on the countertop. “Who are those from?”
“None of your business.”
At that moment, I was glad I had taken the card and put it in my nightstand. Nate didn’t deserve to be dragged in the middle of this. “How dare you get pissed about my admission when you’re clearly seeing someone else!”
“Fuck you! The only person in this room that has cheated is you! How dareyou! I loved you with everything in me, Arik! For the past six months, almost, you’ve been distant, saying you had to work or go out of town. You knew time with you was important to me! You don’t get to try to accuse me of anything but being too trusting of your ass!”
“I’m sorry. You’re right. I apologize, Kenya.”
“How long has this been going on?”
“That’s not important.”
“That long, huh? Get the fuck out of my place!”
“Kenya, please don’t do this. I need you, baby. I love you.”
I was obviously serving some purpose in his life, but I knew he didn’t love me. He was trying to save face. We’d been photographed multiple times at different benefits and fundraisers. He’d painted me to be the perfect partner, supporting him in every aspect. I wasn’t perfect, but none of what he said was false. I supported all his agendas and efforts, except this one. He had an agenda that I couldn’t afford to be a part of this time.
“Kenya! Open the door! Baby, I’m sorry. Please don’t shut me out.”
I rolled my eyes as I continued packing like he wasn’t banging on the door, disturbing all the neighbors. It was like he wasn’t here long enough the night before last, trying to plead his case. After I told him to leave, he ended up staying another hour before my mama knocked on the door. We’d argued nearly the entire time, neither of us receiving an understanding of each other. My only understanding of him was that he was a selfish bastard that wanted his way, no matter who it hurt.
