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My lips parted as she talked. Was she saying what I thought she was saying? I lowered my face to hers and softly kissed her lips. When I was about to pull away from her, she gripped my beard, forcing me to hold my position. “Areyoufree to feel though?”
I knew exactly what she was asking me. I wanted to say yes without a second thought, but my spirit wouldn’t allow me to. So I simply said, “I’m trying to be. I’m sure you are aware of my hangup with Jessica Monroe. She’s moved on… nearly a year ago. She has who she wants and just had a baby. It’s time I move on as well. I want to move on with you.”
She gave me a soft smile then puckered her lips again. I lowered my lips to hers and kissed her softly. This felt right, and I’d be damned if I would let an unhealthy obsession ruin it.
As I sat in VIP,waiting for the concert to get started, a barmaid brought me a bottle of water. I didn’t drink alcohol the night before a game. Had the game been before the concert, I would have turned up. I couldn’t risk getting carried away and feeling like shit tomorrow. Before I could get comfortable, though, a stage manager approached me and asked me to follow her.
I was somewhat confused at first, then I remembered Noah was doing something for this show. The nerves coursed through me as I followed the woman down the long hallway to the stage. VIP wasn’t very far from the stage. When we got backstage, I immediately saw RJ. He smirked at me. “Noah good for surprising muthafuckas, so brace yourself.”
I remembered how he surprised the Hendersons at the private showing for the video he did with Jess. There wasn’t a dry eye in the place. I hoped this wouldn’t be one of those moments. The music cranked up. One of his biggest hits that he opened every show with, “Hustlin’”, blared through the speakers. When Sonya graced the stage, the crowd went wild.
I was a kid when that song came out, but I still remembered the video clearly. Every little boy my age had a crush on Sonya. Another woman with blue eyes joined her on stage, and again, the crowd went bananas. I recognized her as Exodus’s wife. Exodus was a rapper signed to Noah’s label. When Noah finally emerged, the noise was deafening. Fireworks were blasting off side-stage as the crowd rapped every word with him.
I waited to see if he would slap Sonya’s ass like he used to back in the day, and surprisingly, he did. TAZ was cheering the shit on. They were relationship goals, for real. She wasthatsecure in what they had that lil shit didn’t matter. The fact that Sonya still had it was what was remarkable to me. That woman had to be sixty or older. I smiled slightly as the song came to an end, and Sonya hugged Noah and kissed his cheek.
The way my brother was loved in this industry proved how good God had to be. There had only been one person I knew of that bad mouthed him publicly. Everyone saw where that got him: on the outside, looking in. I was beyond proud to be connected to greatness. My father was at least able to witness greatness before he died.
Noah calmed the crowd down. “How y’all doing, Miami?”
There were screams all over the arena as Noah lifted his hand. “I got something special for y’all tonight. This is a song I’ve never performed or even recorded. It’s a tribute to someone special in my life. I looked at him as a father, but his biological son is here with us. Y’all give it up for my lil brother, Nate Guillory!”
My eyebrows lifted as Noah gestured for me to come to the stage. When I walked out, I noticed the pictures of David Guillory flashing on the screen. My heart was overwhelmed. There was video footage of him playing basketball, him clowning around with Noah when he was a teenager, and him cheering Noah on when he graduated and performed. Those were all moments I’d wished I had with him. Even if I would have been in his life, he didn’t live long enough to see me graduate, but he would have at least been able to see me following in his footsteps.
The fans’ applause was so loud it felt like the arena was vibrating. It took everything in me to hold the emotions I felt on the inside. I refused to reveal my vulnerability in front of all these people. However, when I saw a slide of me playing basketball paired alongside David playing as well, I couldn’t help but let the tears fall. We’d driven to the basket exactly the same way.
Noah put his arm around me as I watched in awe. RJ joined us on stage and stood on the other side of me as if they were propping me up for a moment. The way the film went back and forth between David and me… my father was amazing. Something so small meant so much to me. It was like he lived through me on that basketball court. I’d noticed similarities in the way we played, but to see them back-to-back and paired together like this made it seem as if we were the same person.
I looked a lot like David as a grown man. It wasn’t as noticeable when I was a kid. Noah left my side to engage the crowd then announced, “Y’all give it up for Sheila Green, Nate’s mother.”
When my mama walked on stage and came to me, I could no longer hold my emotions. She’d helped Noah with this moment. That was how he got all the video footage of me from my days in AAU and little league basketball. I leaned over and hugged her tightly, then lifted her from her feet. I did that often when I was feeling emotional, so she knew to expect it. As I buried my face into her, I listened to Noah’s lyrics.
Daddy, you meant the world to me
Taught me how to talk to girls and respect them as queens
While your relationships were turbulent to say the least
You didn’t hesitate to impart your wisdom in me
You told me this industry could swallow me whole
That they were sharks, looking to milk me for everything I was worth
Not to give in to their demands if it didn’t represent me
Not to bow down to nobody on this wretched earth
If you only knew you had another son
You would have been so proud to witness the man he’s become
He is you all over again, but an even better version
All the good you possessed is in him, your biggest conversion
I smiled big and lowered my mama to her feet. I held her hand as I rocked with Noah and RJ. It was like RJ was his hype man for this song. I believed it was to keep his emotions in check, because RJ was an entire fool.
When the song was done, I looked at the screen to see a picture of me in my basketball uniform, holding a basketball at my side. There was a faded picture of David behind me, like he was about to hug me, and he’d added wings on him, insinuating he was my guardian angel.
