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I rolled my eyes as she chuckled. “Why don’t you ask Arik if you can go to some of the conferences or seminars?”
“Already did. He said no. He said we still wouldn’t be able to spend time together, so it would be pointless. I would be bored when I could have just stayed home where I have plenty to do. I agreed. Mama could always use the company anyway.”
“Don’t be using me as an excuse, heifer!”
I turned around to see my mama and Mrs. Raquel making their way inside the kitchen. She immediately took a seat at the table as Mrs. Raquel laughed. Mama was at dialysis earlier, and Raqui, as Noah called her most times, volunteered to go pick her up. Although we weren’t in Chicago, she had gotten to know the people at the center here, since we made frequent trips. They allowed her to get treatment here as well. That was extremely convenient, because it didn’t limit the time we could visit.
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever.”
“Why are you using me as an excuse anyway?”
“I wasn’t using you as an excuse. That’s what happens when you walk in on the tail end of the conversation. I was saying that when Arik was out of town, I could spend time with you.”
My mama twisted her lips to the side, giving me a knowing look. Most of the time when we were together, I was complaining about Arik not wanting me to be with him. Taryn had a family to think about now. I didn’t want to bog her down with my problems. It didn’t make sense to be in a relationship and still be lonely. Arik had said he would be able to make time for a relationship. That worked out well for the first six months.
I often wondered if he felt like I wasn’t his one. Maybe he was feeling the same disconnect I was feeling. As Mama and Taryn laughed and joked about it, I gave them a sarcastic laugh and left out the back door. I took a deep breath as I sat in the rocking chair and closed my eyes, trying to forget about Arik for now. My phone wouldn’t allow that to happen though. It had chimed, alerting me of a text message.
Hey, baby. I’m sorry, but I’m not going to make my flight. There was an emergency at the hospital…
I refused to read the rest of it. I responded with one word.Okay.
There were no tears. I was used to being disappointed by him. I closed my eyes again just as I heard the back door open. I didn’t feel like talking, but I knew Taryn would make me. She never had to twist my arm. All she had to do was hold me and hum. Although our dad left before I’d turned a year old and had died by the time I was four or five, I knew what his voice sounded like. Her voice sounded just like his.
It soothed me in ways I couldn’t comprehend. Maybe it was because I was missing something I never had… kind of like Nate. I continued to rock and realized no one had said anything. I opened my eyes to see no one was standing there. That was strange. Maybe they were looking to see where I’d gone then went back inside. I didn’t hear the door close again though.
I turned toward the door, and no one was there. Just as I was about to close my eyes again, Nate walked around through the gate with a purse. He smiled slightly. “You meditating?”
I chuckled. “Something like that.”
“Your mom had forgotten her purse in Raqui’s car.”
I nodded as he continued to the door. Suddenly, he stopped and turned back to me. “You okay?”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
He nodded and walked away again. When the door closed, I released a hard breath. Why was I holding my breath? The man was fine as hell, and my body was taking notice without me. My mind was far away from here. It was in Chicago, wondering why Arik thought he always had to be the doctor on call. My heart was there too, wondering if there was another woman he was seeing. At this point, it didn’t even matter. I no longer wanted him as my all. Honestly, he was never my all. A side chick got more attention than I did.
I stood from my seat and decided to stop focusing on him and why he wasn’t here. I was here to have a good time with my family, celebrating Brooklyn’s birthday. When I got back inside, Noah’s kids and his ex-wife had arrived. They were passing Brook back and forth. “Aunt Kenya!” Noelle yelled.
I chuckled as she ran to me. She was a replica of her father. “Hey, superstar!”
She giggled as she wrapped her arms around me. She’d released her album about six months ago, and it had gone platinum. She was so excited. Noah had her all over the country, doing interviews and making appearances. She was seventeen now, but she’d graduated high school early. That was why Noah had delayed her album a little bit. He wanted to be sure she would have the time without the hoopla of it all interfering with school.
When she pulled away, she asked, “You okay?”
I smiled. “Yeah, why do you ask?”
She side-eyed me. “Your smile isn’t reaching your eyes. Plus, I can feel it.”
Noah and his spiritually enhanced kids.“I’m okay, boo.”
I kissed her cheek and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. She kissed me back and made her way back to Brooklyn. I spoke to everyone who’d arrived and noticed Nate’s mom and Raqui talking in the front room. Tears were streaming down both their faces. As I stared at them, Nate appeared next to me. “She needed this more than I ever knew.”
I glanced at him to see him staring at them. I wasn’t sure what he meant, but I didn’t ask questions. I felt like he was talking more to himself than he was to me. “How long are you here for?” I asked.
He brought his attention to me, and his gaze was heating me up again. “I leave in the morning. I have a game in Philly tomorrow evening.”
“Oh, that’s right. I try to keep up with the schedule.”
