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“Seeing my little girl that depressed, yeah. It’ll kill any father. Made me not even care about what started the argument; my need for her to open up and forgive me.” He paused for a second before speaking again. “What started the argument was me asking her if she had any episodes on campus that she kept away from me. That doesn’t matter now, though.”
I opened my eyes. “Ron, I’m so sorry the two of you are going through this,” I held his hands. “You guys need to talk productively.”
“I tried-”
“Eh, no. No, no, no, no. If you don’t find a way not to talk past her or not to get upset when she talks past you, what might happen could be catastrophic.” I glared at him so he could clearly understand the severity of the situation. “I’ll go talk to her as well.”
“Normally, I’d advise you against it, but now? Go for it.” Ron looked lifeless, and it broke my heart. But whatever he suffered right now, Maddy most likely experienced twice as much. A broken family after the death of its matriarch. Hopefully, I could put the pieces of their shattered hearts and trust together back for them.
I reached into him and gave him a warm hug. To be honest, the hug was for me as much as I believe it was for him. What he told me, added to what I already knew about him and his daughter, felt overwhelming. I needed a hug before going to Maddy and having a talk. I couldn’t believe what this girl had gone through.
I left the room and went to Maddy’s room, knocking on the door. “Who is it?” She asked and instantly could tell her mood had been sour.
“Maryam. Open the door,” I said.
“What do you want?”
“Open the door, Maddy.” I wasn’t in the mood for going through meaningless back and forth with her. This door would get opened tonight one way or another. A few seconds later, I heard her grumbling at the other side of the door while she unlocked it.
“How can I help you?” She asked after opening the door. Her eyes were swollen; that meant she had either developed a sickness related to her eyes or been crying.
“Can I come in?”
“No.”
“Maddy,” I tilted my head to the side and gave her a stern look. She rolled her eyes, groaning, before moving to the side, letting me enter.
“Are you feeling okay?” I inquired after entering the room.
“I guess. Now, what do you want?”
“Your eyes are puffy. Is it related to your medical issues?” I took a chair at the corner of the room and stood it opposite the edge of her bed.
“No… wait. What are you doing?” Maddy wore a bemused expression.
“So, that means you were crying.” I gestured at the edge of the bed opposite the chair after sitting down on it, and Maddy frowned. She looked tired, but that had become the default expression on her face these days. Maddy did as I asked, sitting opposite me and yawning.
“Let me guess, you talked to my dad.”
“Yes.”
“Alright. Say your taking points and leave.” Seeing her speak made me sad for her, but a new feeling erupted in me the more she talked. Anger. Did she not realize how negatively her actions and words affected those around her? I knew I might be thinking insensitively right now, but I loved Ron, and I didn’t want him to enter some sort of depression. Disregarding my personal feelings, I chose to be more compassionate and remember the age of this girl.Just a teenager,I thought.
“Your father thinks you might kill yourself,” I cut right to the chase. Her eyes widened, but the fact that she did not say anything in defiance meant she indeed considered it. “I’m not going to pretend to know what your life is like. I’m sure it is very hard, and sometimes, you feel like you should end it all. I also don’t know the full dynamics and issues concerning your relationship with your father. That doesn’t mean I don’t care about you or him. But I’m gonna ask you this, so please, listen to the next words that leave my mouth.” I leaned in so she would let this drive home.
“Just because you are suffering more than someone doesn’t give you the right to invalidate their suffering.” The ostensive look on her face gave one of deep thought. “Your father has made mistakes, yes, but if you continue to hold it over him, it will make not only his life worse but yours. To go through the immense things you are going through, you need to have people on your side, supporting you. If you don’t wanna forgive him yet, that’s fine. It must have been Hell growing up with no mother and a father that’s barely around. But you still need to take a step. You can’t remain in that deep, dark place alone… because if you do, those intrusive thoughts might win. That might be enough to kill your father, too.”
I let my monologue sink in for a couple of seconds before saying or doing anything again. “And I hope one day, you can trust me to help carry the load of your life. To keep you afloat until you learn to love life.”
“When we’re young, we think this is the end. But no, Maddy…” I place my hands on hers, which were clasped together. “…this is just the beginning; the beginning of your life.” Smiling, I got up, gave her one last look, and nodded, before leaving. I’d done my part. All that remained was to hope for the best.
Chapter eleven
Ronald Razor’s POV
The unique smell of chemicals. That dread that filled the air. Other people with anxious or worried looks… or both. The random background noises of people talking but trying not to be loud. The faint sound of television that barely anyone listens to because they’re more concerned about their life or that of another’s. Nothing in this world could make me comfortable being in a hospital. My eyes remained closed, remembering, and counting all the things I hated about this place as they entered my ears one by one. Having past trauma with my wife and multiple visits with my daughter didn’t help matters, either.
Today, we’d come for Maddy’s bi-annual check-up. I’d been considering making it more than two times because of the fear that Maddy’s situation might worsen, but waiting might be wise. Let’s first see how this check-up went before making any decision. A yawn originating from my left caused me to turn and look at my daughter. Maddy looked disinterested, but I could tell that was just a front. Her hands shivered, and she couldn’t stop rattling her leg in vertical motion. Maryam said she talked to her but didn’t divulge what they talked about. It made me curious, but I didn’t wish to stir the pot at a delicate time like this. Still, my mind would go mad if I remained in silence in this hospital, so I tried to communicate with her.
