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“What?”
Now, my palms became sweaty, and I constantly used my fingers to try and wipe off the moisture. I couldn't even look them squarely in the eye, just small glances here and there while staring primarily at the table in the middle of our living room.
“So yeah, I found someone that I’m dating.”
“Oh, that's great.” Ma perked up, but Dad didn't say anything. He just looked at me with intent. I think he knew that something else would be coming and he waited for the other shoe to drop. Oh, how nervous I probably looked now. “Yes, yes, that's great. Who is he? When can we meet him?”
“He is Ronald Razor.” When I said that, my eye immediately matched hers and I could see in real-time how her reaction swerved from one of joy to confusion… and finally, anger.
“Wait, what?” Ma remained frozen. Dad tilted his head to the side; a sign he wasn’t pleased. "You serious?” Ma laughed almost in disbelief.
“She is,” Dad said with a look of disapproval on his face. Ma looked at him, then turned to me, her mouth parted as she still could not process what I just said.
“Ma, I promise you. It isn't what you think or that I slept with him to get this position,” I explained my case as best I could.
“We taught you to do things the right way,” Ma commented, leaning forward to me. It almost felt like she would jump from her seat at any point in time. Not this. This is bad. What would people think?”
“Since when have you cared about what people thought, Ma?”
“But this isn't about me, it's about you, your life, and everything you have worked for. It could get destroyed because you couldn't stop yourself from getting it on with this man.” She protested.
“Ma, you also told me to follow my heart. You told me to do what I felt was the right thing to do, and I am telling you-”
“I checked up on this Ronald Razor guy.” Dad cut me off, a rare occurrence, and sighed after. He was pissed. “He is pretty old.”
“So, not only are you having an affair with your boss, but he is also way older than you which would bring another unwanted dynamic to the situation.”
“Why can't you just go after boys your age or around the same?!” Ma added. Her incensed look, all worn on her face.
To fully express how she felt, I took a deep breath because I had planned for this reaction. I knew what to say, but still felt the disappointment. It was a lot to take.
“Ma, I need you to listen to me. Seriously, listen.” I tried to reason with both my parents. My father looked at me with intensity. I knew they wouldn’t be happy with the news, but she managed to keep her composure much better than I’d anticipated. "I understand your frustration and worries but I wish for you to remember that you raised a daughter of integrity.”
Ma rested her forehead on her palm, still trying to keep her wits about her. "I love him and he loves me. This is not a joke. This isn't a fling. I hope to.. maybe marry him, someday.” The thought of that made Ma get up, almost ready to puke.
“You’re kidding me!” She yelled and the fuse had finally burst. “When you said you wanted to be an artist, even though we knew the success rate for that industry was very low… and that is not counting the other horrible things that happen in the music business. But by the Grace of God and your hard work, you have been able to get to the top. To where you are right now. And I know we raised a wonderful daughter, but you cannot tell me to just assume you will not make bad decisions such as the one you are making now.”
“Maryam, look at me,” Dad said, in a commanding tone, causing Ma to keep quiet and sit back down to let him take over. I knew that to know all too well. It meant he wasn't playing in any way, shape, or form. “We know how much you have sacrificed for this opportunity and, believe it or not, we have also sacrificed for you to get this dream. You have no idea how much your mother misses you every night. You are our only child and, of course, we worry about you every day as well as your dream because of how difficult it is to attain. And now that you get it, you do this?” His voice rose a bit.
“Why?”
“Dad, I love him,” I replied with conviction. "I do, and his love for me is pure.”
“I didn't come here to ask for your permission because even if I am making a terrible mistake, even if it might end up badly, I would rather experience this wonderful feeling as it would mean at some point in my life… I loved fully and was loved wholeheartedly.” That seemed to touch Dad. His eyes widened.
“You're serious about this, aren't you?” Ma said, frowning while studying my body language.
“Yes, I am.”
It was as if they scanned me for any sign of doubt. Both just stared at me in silence. Dad took in a deep breath and let it out.
“Okay,” Ma resigned.
I was surprised. "That's all?” I asked and she hummed in affirmation, Dad still looked unappeased.
“I know you, Maryam. I know the look in your eyes when you are worried, when you are happy, and when you are sad. Even from your voice, I can tell. I am your mother, so it's my job to know.” She blew air from her mouth. “Which is why I know you are dead serious about this man and your feelings for him.”
“I just hope his feelings for you are as potent,” Dad added. I couldn't hide my smile.
