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"Yes, and we have great candidates that are compatible and already donated in one of our donation programs."
"I thought you would need me to donate."
"Sure, if you wanted to, but we're just saying she needs a lot of blood, and we need to do this surgery as soon as possible because we don't know how long she can survive with such a deficiency affecting her brain. We've also come up with a good dosage of pharmaceuticals that would help her," Dr. Grey said.
"It took a while for us to narrow it down because there were so many compounding problems with your daughter's body that it might be impossible for a single doctor, so we ran it by our colleagues-"
"I'm giving my blood."
They glanced at each other before giving me a look suggesting there wasn't reason for me to do so.
"She is my daughter. You can add it to the ounces you already have. Money won't be an issue either. I'll pay whatever is necessary to get my daughter free from this ailment."
"Alright. We will also have to do surgery."
"Wait, what?"
"Yes. It's a high-level surgery where we would have to bring a specialist, and it has to do with her brain because all the blood that's affected her so far also harmed her brain chemistry," Dr. Franklin elaborated. "The chances of an aneurysm or something fatal related to her brain might be increasing in the future. If you don't have the surgery…" My heart sank. Surgery… Specialist… Brains.
All these words only served to make me afraid.
"Surgery for my brain?" Maddy finally spoke.
"Yes, Maddy. We'll remove any lingering issues that might come and haunt you later, in the future," Dr. Grey explained to Maddy.
"And what is the likelihood of this surgery being dangerous?"
"It has a 65 percent success rate, but when it comes to extreme cases where the candidate dies, those happening… less than 10 percent, Dr. Franklin answered. "So, she has a 90 percent rate of non-fatality." He said a 90 percent success rate, but all I heard was that there existed a 10 percent chance that my daughter would die and a 35 percent chance it wouldn't even succeed.
So why the hell would I take such a risk?
“We wanted to tell you in person in case you had any further questions that we could answer. We also need to be fast to get the specialist, Dr. Falconer. He’s an internationally renowned neurosurgeon who handles high-level surgeries. His skill is unrivaled, so to get him here we would need to be sure that you are going to have the surgery.”
“Can we take a moment to think about it?”
“Sure,” Dr. Grey said with a smile. We’ll just need an answer before the end of tomorrow. I hope that's okay. We understand that this is a very difficult time for you and your family.” He glanced at Maryam and Maddy before looking back at me. “We don't want you to feel pressured, but Dr. Falconer Is in very high demand. It took a lot to even get him to find the time for us.”
“I understand. Thank you.”
We got up and left the hospital. While Maryam encouraged Maddy, my mind drifted into the possibility of this all going wrong. I knew the correct thing would be to do the surgery. Maddy had been suffering for so long, so she needed this win. She needed to live life as a normal person, not with a brain that gives her continuous issues and not with defective blood. That was on me. I felt bad for not giving her a stronger body when she came into this world.
Perhaps, this was an irrational viewpoint from me, trying to find someone to blame amid this horrible situation.
I did it anyway.
Maddy got tired and slept on my chest on our way back home. “So, what are we going to do? Maryam asked. I hadn't said a word since we left the doctor's office hence, she might have been trying to get me to talk and open up about how I felt right now. I didn't want to talk now, though; I just needed silence… or maybe I didn't. Honestly, I didn't know what I wanted at this moment. My mind remained in chaos.
“I don't know yet.”
She looked at me with a smile. “I think you do, but you aren't sure if you have the strength to do it because you’re afraid, understandably so. I am too, and I'm sure she is.”
“I'd rather not think about it right now, please.” My mind wasn't in the right headspace to think of the correct decision. “When we get home, after a couple of hours, we can discuss it as a family.”
“All right.” She nodded, taking out her phone and directing her attention there. I love how understanding she was at times like these because I could easily see another woman taking it personally. She waited for me to share in my own time. I also knew that we would eventually all agree to go with the surgery by the end of the day.
My phone rang but I wasn't in the mood to pick anything. I frowned without even checking who called. I carefully raised Maddy’s head from my shoulder.
“Sorry, Honey. Move your head over to Maryam’s side.” She did as I asked.
