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I catch myself taking in all the details of her features and the things she does more often than not.
I’m almost getting to know Carissa too well. I can tell what she likes to eat and drink without even asking her.
Now that she will be discharged from the hospital, I can finally get back to work with the knowledge that I get to see her every day and in good health.
“You are free to go,” the doctor says after all of Carissa’s vitals have been checked.
She put her arms around me for a quick hug.
“Thank you. I mean it.”
She does not have to thank me because everything I have done so far has been for me. Her presence is soothing, and I get to experience it outside of work conversations.
I have genuinely laughed in the last few days at the hospital with her more than I have in a very long while.
She thinks she is funny, which makes her even funnier.
The way she laughs and jabs me with her elbows, although painful, is pleasant.
I drive her home and head back to mine, anticipating the next day when she will show up to work.
My excitement gets the better of me and I show up earlier than she does, but that’s okay because I still get to see her.
As soon as I hear a chorus of cheers and applause out in the main office, I know she’s back.
Everyone offers her a warm hug with wide smiles. Her desk, which had been empty, is now adorned with colorful balloons, welcome-back banners, and a bouquet of fresh flowers.
Throughout the day, everyone stopped by her desk, one after the other, to express their happiness at her return. Some bring small gifts while others share stories of their own experiences and recovery at the hospital.
During lunch, I make certain that the office organizes a potluck celebration in her honor. Her colleagues made a variety of dishes, from homemade lasagna to fresh salads and decadent desserts.
They gather around as they share laughter and stories to make Carissa feel as if she had never been away.
I keep my distance, observing from the confines of my office.
I want today to be about her.
Carissa is the first woman to reject me. I don't know how to deal with that feeling because I have never had to.
And now, this is my way of acting mature about it while still giving her time to come around.
I hope that she does, because I can’t deal with the knowledge that a woman ever said no to me.
Usually, I do the rejections, and I haven’t exactly considered how anyone felt about it. But right now, I will do everything in my power to get Carissa to be more than friends.
Fuck buddies even.
As I watch her enjoy the attention from her co-workers, I’m consoled by the fact that she still smiles when our eyes meet.
This is likely one of those cases where they say you let someone down slowly.
With time, I hope she will come around.
I’m confident she will.
I decide to take a different approach toward wooing her instead of the typical player tactic.
I have already successfully established one, which is supportive friendship.
