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“Hey, you’re here,” Lydia says with a smile as she approaches me, holding out a file.
“What is this?” I ask, taking it anyway and scanning through it.
“Jesse asked me to give that to you for review,” she says.
I look over to Jess in confusion just as he looks away. “But he could have just done that himself.”
“Yes, but he thinks you’re avoiding him. Just like the rest of us,” she replies. “Girl, what is going on with you?”
“Nothing,” I say defensively, putting the file down on my desk.
Lydia rolls her eyes. “It sure doesn't look like nothing. I see the way you sneak around in here and show up late to work. You even avoid taking lunch breaks with us. If something has happened, you know you can talk to us.”
For a minute, she almost got me.
“It's really nothing.”
“Is it something we said or did?” she pushes further. “Hold on! Is it Pamela?”
I scoff, “Oh, God. Please, no.”
I almost forgot she existed. We haven’t really communicated directly since our last incident. Now, she either emails me or asks someone else to pass a message across to me.
“I’m just… It's just a personal issue. It has nothing to do with you guys at work, I promise,” I say, hoping the reassurance will go a long way to send her off.
“So, there is something,” she continues. “Whatever it is, just know we are here for you. You don't have to stay away from us.”
I nod. “Thank you, Lydia. I had no idea I was doing that.”
She gives my hands a reassuring squeeze.
“And tell Jesse I’m sorry,” I add as she finally walks away.
I heave a sigh of relief. Keeping up with work and professional relationships while dealing with my own shit has become more hectic than I imagined.
I wish I could take a week off from seeing so many familiar faces and just process my thoughts by myself.
I thought of just going away, but even if Jayden hurt me, he is still my boss, and I have to respect that and not take advantage of my emotional issues with him.
The office landline shrills loudly, and I pick it up almost immediately.
“My office, please.”
Even over the phone his voice still sends my heart racing, but this time from the anxiety of this new tension between us.
I walk into Jayden’s office after a brief inhaling and exhaling exercise behind the door.
“You didn't let me know when you came in,” he says.
“I… You were on the phone. I didn't want to interrupt,” I respond, doing my best to not look at him.
There is a brief moment of silence as he keeps typing away on his laptop while I stand there. I’m forced to look at him now.
He seems too calm and peaceful for someone who has put me through all these emotions that I’m feeling.
A renewed anger rises inside of me. How dare he?
How dare he hurt me and act like everything is okay while he sits on his high horse without a care in the world.
