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David drifts off to sleep shortly after. I’m still wide awake, frozen still.
Though my body is satisfied, and I know this was nothing more than a quick fuck, my heart aches. As I fall asleep, David’s breathing is a comfort even as it hurts me. I think all I want is for David to feel the same way about me as I do him.
CHAPTER 28
David
When I wake up, Laura is gone.
It shouldn’t bother me. Wesaidthat it was a one-off. That it meant nothing. I know she’s mad at me. I know she’s upset. I know she doesn’t want me. And, worse, or maybe better, I know that we’re going to pretend to amicably split in just a few short weeks, after we decide that “long distance” doesn’t work.
I know all of this.
I know that last night was goodbye—if not the final, though I think it might have been, than at least close to that.
But…
But.
I sigh, rolling over. I scrub my hands down my face. Jesus. I feel so…
Far gone, is one way to put it.
I always feel far gone with Laura.
Slowly, as I stretch in the too-small bed, my body aching for the comfort of my mattress, everything else comes back to me.
I remember, with a start, that it’s Valentine’s Day morning.
I’m supposed to be making waffles!I think.
I climb out of bed quickly.Jesus, I really shouldn’t have slept naked,I think. The kids could have walked in, or Lewis or Jessi?—
Although, Laura and Iaremeant to be madly in love. Perhaps it would have made us seem more interested in one another.
I roll my eyes at myself. I don’t need any help looking smitten by Laura. That, at least, I know is believable.
I dress quickly, pulling on sweats and a t-shirt. Then, on second thought, I grab a sweatshirt and put it on. I can hear the chatter and laughter of the kids outside, and I start to get excited.
It’s been a long time since Jessi and I spent this morning together. The kids had never requested it, and it seemed like it was going to be a thing we traded off on forever. I’m looking forward to the six of us being here.
A pang in my chest reminds me that this is likely to be the only holiday it’s the six of us, but I ignore that as much as I can. I don’t want todwell, after all.
I get socks and then go out. Jessi sees my face and bursts out laughing.
“Eager?” she teases from behind her coffee cup.
I roll my eyes at her and she laughs more.
“Childish,” she says, almost approvingly.
I wave her off, grinning, and dart to the kitchen for coffee.
What I see draws me up short.
Angie and Benji are on either side of Laura, the three of them pouring pancake batter on a griddle. All three of them have flour on their cheeks, almost like it was deliberately put there. The kids are in matching pajamas, and Laura’s are remarkably holiday-themed, with little hearts and cupids.
“Look at my pajamas!” Laura says brightly, smiling as she looks up. For a moment, I’m breathless. Has she forgiven me? Are we finally okay? Was last night all we needed?
