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“I have a bone to pick with you,” she starts.
I know this, but I still try to wiggle out of it. “Haven’t you and Lewis gone through an entire bottle of champagne?”
“Maybe,” she points at me. “But the boneshallbe picked.”
I sigh. She pours herself another glass, buying me a second to compose myself.
“You’re less disciplined,” Jessi says.
It makes me startle. “What do you mean?” That was the last thing I expected her to say.
Jessi hops onto the counter, swinging her legs. She sips her champagne. She looks young here, like the woman she was when I married her. I feel a burst of nostalgia—not for her, not really, just for when things were… simpler.
Although back then, we had a young kid, she was pregnant, and my dad was always on me about being a proper Donovan. It wasn’t quite as simplistic as I might remember it.
“What are you saying?” I realize my hands are twisting together, and so I put them in my pockets.
“Come on, Dave,” Jessi says. Her face drops a little, the empathy clear. “What are you doing with that girl?”
To my complete horror, my eyes sting.
“Oh, honey.” Jessi hops off the counter and wraps me in a hug. I let her, and hold her, too.
When she pulls back, she smiles at me just like she does the kids when they scrape their knees. “You still have to tell me, you know.”
“I know,” I grumble. My voice comes out too wet, too vulnerable. I clear my throat.
“When I said you were undisciplined,” she says, leaning beside me now. “I wasn’t talking about Laura. Though, I suppose that counts, too. I meant with the kids.”
This hits me hard, like a stab through the chest. “What?”
“No, no, not in a bad way. Like… Benji getting a soda. A year ago, you’d never have let him sneak a soda.”
“He was allowed soda,” I defend. “On special occasions.”
“Sure,” she agrees. “But not tosneakone.”
I consider her point. “Was I that much of a hard ass?”
“You were… grumpy,” Jessi says. She bumps me with her shoulder. “And that’s not terrible. You’ve been through a lot. It’s just… it has been nice watching you warm up a little.”
I can still feel those terrible tears. “I didn’t mean to fuck everything up, Jessi.”
“So, why tell her she can’t come to France?”
“I didn’t say that!” My heart leaps into my throat. “Does Laura think I told her shecouldn’tcome?”
“David…”
“She doesn’t want me,” I admit. “She doesn’t want anything more than just… We didn’t know who we were, she didn’t know me, and I didn’t know her, not that first time. And it was… it casual. She… She wants to be there for the kids, as an aunt, if you’d let her. And you should, she’s good with them!”
“I know, Dave?—”
“She didn’t want this to affect you and Lewis, and I didn’t… I was cowardly. I suppose.”
“David.”
“She doesn’t want me.” For some reason, I have to get Jessi to see this. “She couldn’t.”
