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I hear a clanging upstairs and then twin peels of laughter. I wish for the familiarity of Alice and the friendliness of Angie.
“How old are you?” Benji suddenly demands.
With a burst of fear, I consider lying. “Twenty-five,” I say truthfully.
His face crumples into tight consideration. His nod is minuscule, and again, it reminds me of his dad.
“Do you know how old my dad is?”
The question is pointed and soft at the same time—it is equally positioned to mock me and to actually inform me in case I don’t know. I think this must be something he got from Jessi.
“I do.”
He sighs. “He knows how old you are, too.”
Ah. His last ditch effort to break us up, I guess.
I drum my fingers on the table. He gloomily eats his dessert.
The truth is, I have no idea how to talk to a kid Benji’s age. Lewis is older than me, and I never had much need, even growing up, to talk to other kids. I was more likely to be stuck in a book than socializing.
“So,” I say, and he looks at me with wide eyes. I’m sure I’m looking the same because I have no idea what I’m about to say. “Video games, huh?”
Benji looks at me with horror. “Yeah, I guess.”
“Right.”
Jesus, this is awkward. I look up towards the stairs. How long does it take to put on a suit? David is my enemy.
“Look,” Benji says, setting his fork down. “We don’t have to talk.”
A part of me is relieved.
The other part, though…
These are David’s kids! This is his son. And I… I don’t know. This isn’t real. This relationship isn’t something that has any legs, not really. But it’s still hard to distance myself the way I ought to.
Plus, there’s a good chance he’s going to be Lewis’ stepson. That means something.
I want to be the kind of sister who can talk to my brother’s kids, step or otherwise.
And…
I don’t know.
Something about this feels important. Vital, even. Crucial, at least.
“I’m sorry,” I say, deciding on honesty. “I know this is weird.”
He squints at me. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah!” I feel encouraged, but his little eyes keep narrowing and I fear I’ve made a terrible mistake.
“So you know what it’s like when your dad starts dating someone basically your age?”
Wow. I really walked into that one.
“You look really good for your mid-twenties,” I say dryly.
