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Everything felt heightened, every touch made me want more.
As much as I had imagined something happening between us, nothing came close to how it really felt.
At one point I remember looking at him in disbelief that someone as handsome and intellectual as him wanted me.
Sometimes with some men it’s awkward and it takes time to get into a rhythm, but with Aaron, it was natural yet incredibly intense.
After we recovered, we had another drink and ended up staying in his room, where I fell asleep in his arms. Nothing ever felt so right. I felt safe. I felt like I was home.
I hear his voice echo through the house. I reach out and feel the empty space next to me.
My brain feels foggy, but I know he’s not there.
I sit up and admire his room.
There’s a huge glass wall overlooking the ocean, the view even more beautiful than the one we had at the hotel.
Everything feels cozy and rich with the luscious rug, the gorgeous deep blue draperies, the stone fireplace, and the wall filled with books.
I can faintly hear Aaron’s tense voice echo down the hall, and I sigh. Our perfect bubble is already being shattered. I expected it, but I didn’t think it would happen this soon.
The past day or so has felt like a dream, from our walk on the beach to the playful fighting in the pool to finally making love.
Now that I’ve had him, I want more.
But by the sound of whatever he’s dealing with, that won’t be happening.
I reluctantly sit up in the ridiculously soft sheets that I plan on stealing when I leave here and make my way down the hall.
I trace my hand down the cool marble on the wall and follow the sound of Aaron’s voice to his office.
I stop at the door and smile. He’s got his head down and he’s focused on something.
His hair is tousled and he’s still in a T-shirt and pajama shorts.
I admire his muscular body as he concentrates.
I wait for him to notice me standing there, admiring the large white office with lots of natural light. I like that there seems to be a view of the water and a wall of books in most of the rooms.
I can see myself making my way through all the books here. Not that I’m presumptuous enough to think I’ll ever be back here, but it’s a nice fantasy to entertain. I don’t belong here, that much is clear, but Aaron makes me feel like maybe I could.
I can imagine bringing our friends here. I can imagine this being our go-to place where we come to connect and unwind.
That’s all it is, though. My imagination.
Looking back at all of his behavior during filming, it’s clear that the man in front of me is who Aaron really is.
I know I got to know him on a different level and for a minute we had some fun, but this is his default mode.
His arm muscles bulge as he tenses. I notice his jaw is clenched.
He glances up and puts his hand over the phone. “The jet is on the way.”
I nod but he’s already turned away.
I stand there awkwardly, waiting to see if he’s going to say anything else.
He stays turned away in his chair and I bite my lip.
