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“You can’t, Celeste. He can’t know it’s you.”
Tears were already gathering and falling as we approached the door of my parent’s bedroom. I already knew what I would find and what I wouldn’t. Everything would be clean and placed where it belonged, everything except the pictures of my family. A sob left my chest when Markus opened the door and confirmed my fears. I ran out, finding my room and finding the pictures there were also missing.
“They took everything!” I cried, falling to my knees in the middle of my childhood bedroom. “I have nothing left but my memories.”
Markus sat beside me and gathered me into his arms like a child, trying to soothe my pain. He didn’t speak, letting me instead rage at the injustice my family suffered. I sobbed for hours, letting my memories crash over me, trying desperately to hang onto them because I knew that was all I had left of my parents. But try as I might, for every happy memory of my parents, another memory from Blood Moon followed, and I let go of the tears I refused to shed during every beating, every punishment. I let it all come forward now, before I drowned under the weight of the past, before I had to be strong again for everyone else.
I sobbed until Markus’ shirt was soaked, and then I continued to cry without being able to shed more tears. Eventually, my exhausted body shut down, and I drifted to sleep, not waking again until we were in our bedroom back in Crescent Moon.
Markus was wrapped around me, and I let his scent and warmth heal me. Despite not finding what I wanted in Sky Moon, it helped give closure to my past. Now, I could continue forward and one day give the closure I just received to the rest of my people. Once we rescued them all from Blood Moon, I could give them what I didn’t have.
I understood why there were no pictures of us, so I couldn’t even be angry anymore. They destroyed my past so that I could have a future. It was something I would learn to live with. Until then, I had a mission and a purpose. I was Markus’ Luna and my people’s only chance. I couldn’t allow something like this to break me.
“Tuli?” Markus' concerned voice reached me. I looked up at his sad gray eyes and did my best to smile.
“Thank you. For taking me there,” I whispered.
“I'm so sorry you didn’t find what you needed, Tuli,” he spoke as he caressed my face.
“I’m fine now,” I said, hoping I was telling the truth. “I finally got my chance to mourn my family. I can keep moving forward.”
“It’s okay not to be okay,” he whispered, searching my face, but I shook my head and cuddled closer.
“I’m okay. I promise. I just need a little more rest.”
“Sleep, Tuli. I will be here with you, my love.” I closed my eyes at his words and allowed sleep to take me again.
There was a lot of work ahead, but today, I would let myself rest a bit more.
Chapter seventeen
Markus
Ilookedoutthewindow towards the old retrofitted training building and sighed. After passing her GED, Celeste spent most of her free time over the last two weeks in that little building. She was always either training with Ashley, the witch my father found, trying to learn to use her gifts, with Brittney, the female warrior that Gillian assigned to her physical training, or meditating to try to get her pyro ability to come forth at will. She still cooked twice a week, much to everyone’s delight. Mrs. Quinn told me she was ready to take up her luna duties as she was a natural. They still spent time together, but this time, it was with Maya while they tried to plan details for the harvest moon ceremony.
I was busy preparing the entire investigation to present to the council in two weeks. Celeste insisted on being at every meeting, as she had first-hand information on the pack that might be of use. She was right, and I was more than happy to have her assistance, but between her ever-growing list of responsibilities, we only spent stolen moments together over the last two weeks.
I knew how important everything she was doing was to her, to us, to our pack, and to her people, but I missed my Tuli. She was losing a bit of weight again, and I knew she wasn’t sleeping a lot, choosing instead to meditate in the hopes of commanding a vision forward. I could feel her exhaustion when she left her defenses down at night.
She was a woman on a mission, but share her burden with me. She insisted all she wanted to do was catch up to what everyone else had growing up, but I could tell there was more. Atlas was also having trouble communicating with Kara through their mind-link, and it made us uneasy and sad. All we wanted was to be with her, but she was shutting us out of her life. I could tell something was simmering under the surface, but I had no idea how to help her, and I had a bad feeling that when whatever was bubbling finally exploded, it was going to be bad.
“Are you listening to me?” Danny interrupted my thoughts.
“Huh?” I asked.
“Is everything okay with Celeste?” Danny repeated himself. “Maya said she hasn’t seen her since the day we took them to see the old Sky Moon territory a week and a half ago. She said she’s barely responding to her mind links and her texts even less.”
“She keeps saying she’s fine, but I don’t think so. Something is bothering her, and she won’t tell me what. She cries in her sleep sometimes but just says she’s having nightmares.” I sighed, still looking at the old building. I turned to my friend. “She’s blocking her emotions from me.” Danny raised his eyes at that. “When she sleeps and lets her guard down, I can feel her anger, sorrow and fear, but every time I try to talk to her about it, she just says she’s tired and then goes off to do something. I don’t know what I did wrong. I thought she trusted me, trusted our bond. It seems I was mistaken.”
That was it. I finally said what was eating at me for the last two weeks. Did Celeste not love me and trust me enough to share her thoughts with me? Did she not trust me to help her by telling me what was bothering her and what she was feeling? She told me she loved me, but maybe not enough.
“Hey man, we’ve all seen the way she looks at you. That woman loves you. Even a brute like me can see that,” he reassured me. His face darkened, and I knew I wouldn’t like what he said next. “We’ve heard some stories, but we still can’t know what these girls were feeling or how they really survived for the last eleven years. I can’t imagine being kept so weak that you couldn’t defend yourself. Being taken from your home and thrown into a pack that not only doesn’t care for you, but tears you down instead of protecting you. From the little Maya is willing to tell me, Celeste usually bore the brunt of the beatings and mistreatments. Something inside you dies when you can’t fight back. Maybe this is Celeste’s way of taking that part back.”
I shut my eyes and saw her beautiful face sleeping at my side. She always looked like such an innocent, precious angel to me. I know she’s been through a lot, and needed to heal, but was I so inept at helping her that she didn’t even try to share that with me?
Kara has some stories about what happened to them, but all she will talk about is after she woke up, saying the rest of the memories aren't hers to share. That’s ten years that Celeste had to endure that living hell all on her own. Maybe she doesn’t know how to talk about it, Atlas suggested. He was as desperate to have our Tuli back to her normal self as I was.
I looked back at Danny. I felt like he understood some of what I was going through, being mated to Maya.
