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I stood up from my perch on the love-seat and decided that I had had enough of the sulking and then brooding. There was nothing that I could do to change the past. Both my mother and my father were gone, out of my life completely, and it was up to me alone now to try and piece together the rest of my life. I dreamed of having a family, of sharing my love with a child, or children, even. I knew that I didn’t want to have a relationship like the one that my mother and father had, but that I could, instead, find one that was successful, positive, and supportive.
After a few minutes of gazing out at the field of sunflowers, I decided to break out of my normal routine and go to the local coffee shop for an espresso and a scone. I wanted to treat myself since I’d been feeling so down lately. Last week marked what would have been my parents’ twenty year wedding anniversary. I had celebrated, silently and alone, with a bottle of champagne and a plate of cheese. It was somewhat comforting to remember their union, but at the same time it pained me to think about what could have been, and what would never be.
“Enough sadness!” I yelled out loud and then walked toward my bedroom. I lived in a modest two story home that had been purchased, in part, with the inheritance money that my mother had endowed me with. It was architecturally pleasing, with clean lines and modern décor, but something about it always felt sterile and empty. I pictured having a brood of children running around, messing up the furniture and marking up the walls with crayons. Yet as of today, I was still as single as ever, and not even close to designing a nursery in the empty bedroom.
The sun beamed out from the horizon, and I slid on a tank top and a pair of running shorts. I always tried to exercise on my days off from the book store, and today was no exception. I decided to hit the backwoods trial that led to the Diamond Ridge, then cut left and circle toward Conscious Coffee, which was nestled between Broadway and Cactus Avenue. I laced my sneakers, grabbed a bottle of water, then headed out the door. I already felt better just by getting myself out of the large and lonely house.
When I reached the end of the street, I started my run. It felt good to have the sun beating on my arms, to feel the release of sweat from my pores. I always felt lighter when I went running, as if the weight of the world eased itself off my shoulders, even if only slightly. When I made it around the bend, I could see the path that led to the Diamond Ridge, and I picked up my pace to see how quickly I could reach it. Once there, I headed up, beyond the sage brush and the junipers, till I reached the leveled, gravel trail in the pines.
Running always cleared my head. I fell into a rhythm, breathing in and breathing out, watching the bushes and the flowers as I breezed by them. I thought about what happiness meant, about what I could do to find it in my own life. Maybe there really was someone out there that was right for me. Maybe, with just a little more patience and perseverance, I would finally meet someone who wanted to settle down and shape a life together.
When I reached the top of the ridge, I slowed down and eventually stood still. I could see all of Sedona down below, and it filled me with a sense of accomplishment to have made it to the end of my run. I knew that if I could keep the same determination and apply it to my personal life that I’d eventually end up in a good space. I wiped off my brow and then started my descent down the ridge, then gradually wound my way toward the downtown strip.
“Good afternoon, Leila. What can I get for you today?” Pete Dunphy smiled from behind the counter. I had been a regular at Conscious Coffee since moving to Sedona, and I loved the fact that I could count on seeing a familiar face whenever I walked through the doors to his shop. He always served fresh, gourmet drinks, and it was relaxing to sit and pass the time in his establishment.
“I’ll have one of your famous strawberry Frappuccino’s.” I smiled and fished around in my wallet for money. Pete got to work on my drink and then moved away from his blender.
“I thought of you the other day. One of my buddies came in with a new healthy living magazine, and there was some kind of ad in there for a mail order bride.” Pete chuckled and then returned to the blender. I rolled my eyes.
“Are you serious, Pete?” I shook my head and pouted, playfully. “A mail order bride?” I sighed and then leaned up against the counter. “I might be single and lonely, but I don’t think I’m exactly desperate just yet.” I pulled my hair back away from my face and then watched as Pete poured my drink into a tall, blue glass. He set it on the counter and then shrugged.
“Well. You know what they say. Right?” He looked at me with curiosity. “You never know unless you try.” He shrugged and then walked back to his berries and coffees. I stood motionless for a second, then lifted the cool drink off the counter and walked toward the register where Pete met me with a smile.
“I wish I were as lucky as you, Pete.” I was serious. Pete had a beautiful wife and two adorable children. He and his family lived up in the Arizona mountains and they donated a large portion of their profits to conservation efforts in the Southwest. I admired his tenacity, his good work ethic, and his overall quality as a human being. I wished that I could find someone like Pete one day.
“I guess you could say that luck has a little to do with success.” Pete shrugged again, then leaned against the counter. “But I think finding a life partner also has a lot to do with being ready. Maybe you just haven’t been in the right space for being serious with anyone.” Pete smiled and then rang up my drink. I handed him a five-dollar bill and then dropped the change into one of his charity cups.
I sat down at one of the tables by the window and sipped on my drink. It was refreshing and delicious. After a few minutes, I got up and wandered toward the magazines that were situated in the back of the shop. Pete usually had a nice selection of current publications, and I always found something interesting to read without having to look too hard. I picked up the first magazine that caught my eye. It was called “Healthy Expectations” and it had a photograph of a suntanned, auburn haired woman on the cover. She was seated under a swath of tall pines, and she wore a thin, red ribbon in her hair.
“Maybe Pete’s right.” I mumbled under my breath as I flipped through the pages. “Maybe it just hasn’t been the right time for me to meet anyone.” I shrugged and then carried the magazine back to my table. Then I sat down and turned the pages until an article on sustainable living caught my eye. I skimmed the article, decided that the magazine was worth reading, and got up to buy a scone. When I sat back down, I opened up the back page to browse the classifieds. That’s when I saw the ad.
Chapter 2
“Seeking One Perfect Mail-Order Bride.” The title of the ad stood out from all the rest. I bypassed the Help-Wanted, the Dogs for Sale, and the Workshops categories, settling my eyes on the one, dominating ad. The description continued: Wealthy cowboy in the mountains of Montana seeks a patient, kind, generous woman to step in as his bride. The arrangement will involve care for infant son, and general household responsibilities. Only serious inquiries need apply.” I read the ad three times before closing the magazine and sipping what was left of my smoothie.
The sun cast a few shadows over the valley, and I looked at the time. Where had it gone? I sighed and clutched the magazine under my arm, then sidled my way up to the counter. Pete was washing some glasses and paused when he saw me standing before him. “Is this the ad you were referring to?” I gave him a cautionary smile and folded back the magazine page. He nodded his head and chuckled.
“That most certainly is it, Leila.” He wiped off the counter and then leaned in with a smile. “Like I said- you’ll never know unless you try. Right?” He shrugged and then smiled. “Take the magazine home with you and just think about it.” Pete pulled out a container of lemons and started slicing. I nodded my head and smiled.
“Okay.” I held the magazine in my hands and then nodded my head. “I’ll take it and give it some thought. I guess times have changed and mail-order brides might not be what they used to be. Right?” I figured I probably didn’t have anything to lose. At this point, I was feeling a little more confident. What did I Have to lose? Nobody could predict another person’s happiness, or another person’s success. Pete was right. I might as well give it a try.
A swift, unexpected rain fell over Sedona as soon as I walked out of Conscious Café. It was cold, and the drops felt good as they pelted my bare skin. I walked briskly through the downtown and hailed a cab once it started to really fall down. “You can drop me off at the corner of Arroyo Avenue.” I fished around in my pocket to find a few dollars, then situated myself in the back seat, watching quietly as the passersby scurried to get out of the wetness.
“Thank, miss.” The cabbie smiled as I handed him the crumpled bills. I flung open the back door, grabbed my magazine, and then bounded away from the cab. He took off just as a bolt of lightning streaked across the sky. “Wow!” I darted over puddles that had already formed in front of the sidewalk, then wound my way down the avenue until I reached the front door of my house. I opened the door, kicked off my drenched sneakers, then plopped down on the couch. It felt good to be out of the rain.
I reached for the magazine that had survived the torrential downpour. I pressed down the pages and then opened it up to the back where the mail-order bride ad was. Then I bit my lower lip. I could already detect the subtle doubt creeping into my mind. What if the man who wrote the ad thought I was too young? What if he thought I was too inexperienced? Or what if he thought I wasn’t pretty enough? What I just flat-out wasn’t his type? My mind wandered, inviting in all sorts of possible negatives. I ran my hands through my hair, then got up to make some tea.
“What do I have to lose? Right?” I posed my questions aloud. “If he doesn’t like me, then he just doesn’t like me. Right?” I shrugged and then pulled out a box of peppermint tea from the kitchen cabinet. I set some water on the stove-top, then waited patiently for it to boil, all the while, brooding over the endless stream of possibilities. “That’s it.” I reached for a spoon, poured the hot water into my mug, then dangled the tea bag inside. “No more questions.” I shook my head then carried my tea carefully into the living room. It was time for action.
For a moment, all I could think about was the fact that I was about to do something that I had never done before, something that had a twinge of excitement surrounding it. The last time I had even dated anyone was almost a year ago. Relationships had never come easy for me, in part, I was sure, due to my parent contentious past. I tried not to let their issues cloud my own ability to find a healthy partner, but it nevertheless haunted me, in some sort of subconscious way.
It seemed a little bit wild to me, however. Writing in response to an ad that a total stranger had placed in an alternative health magazine? I wasn’t so sure that it was the best move for me to make; at the same time, I still couldn’t justify that I had anything to lose. I was single and lonely, living in a house that was better suited for a family of five. I hadn’t socialized in months, except to go get a smoothie or a coffee at Conscious Coffee. Now was the time to break away, to take a chance, even if it made me feel slightly uncomfortable doing so.
Without further deliberation, I rummaged in the kitchen cabinet for a piece of stationary. I hadn’t written a letter to anyone since high school, and it made me slightly giddy to think that someone I’d never met before was about to see my personal thoughts on paper. It made me feel vulnerable, but at the same time it also made me feel relieved. I was taking control of my life. I fished around for a suitable pen, then planted myself at the kitchen table and stared at the blank sheet of paper.
“Dear Cowboy,
I hope that you give me the chance to share some of my thoughts. My name is Leila, and I live in a beautiful part of Arizona called Sedona. I’ve never been to Montana, but I hear it is beautiful. I’m responding to your ad for a mail-order bride because I think I’d make the perfect fit for your needs. I’ve always been an independent person, and I know how to handle challenging situations. I love little kids, and have always dreamed of having a family to call my own. My parents are both deceased, and I would love to have the opportunity to leave my past behind and begin a new life with someone who will appreciate my kindness and my sense of humor. I’d love to get to know you better, and I would love to offer you my commitment to a relationship. I’ve enclosed a small photo, as well.
